DEAR DEIDRE: A GIRL contacted me and my husband saying he is her dad. They did DNA tests and he broke down while we waited for the results, admitting he had cheated on me with her mother.

The tests results were conclusive. There is no doubt he is her father.


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We are both 50, while our two sons and two daughters are all grown up.

This girl is 20, the same age as our youngest son.

He says it was a one-night stand and he had no idea the mother was pregnant.

But this woman insists they had an affair for six months and she told him she was expecting.

The girl wants to get to know her father and our children but I can’t eat or sleep and am absolutely heartbroken. I keep going over what was happening at the time. I thought we were both happy.

I feel like our marriage has been a sham and that he never loved me.

DEIDRE SAYS: Tell your husband how deceived you feel and that you need to have some honest conversations. He can’t expect simply to move on.

Please try to find some compassion in your heart for his daughter, who has had to grow up not knowing her father.

Your children may welcome her – especially if you can accept that his cheating was long ago and focus on the 20 happy years you have enjoyed together since.

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