DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having sex with my wife’s best friend to help me forget about my miserable marriage.

My wife and I have both been married before but have a girl of three together. I’m 36 and she is 34.


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I have an older son who lives with us because his mum can’t cope with him.

He’s 13 and can be difficult, which triggers problems between me and my wife because she says he shows her no respect.

Our house has felt like a pressure cooker during lockdown. I’m self-employed and run the business from home. But orders have dried up and I’ve been stressed.

My son has been off school, of course, and driving my wife mad.

She had our little one to cope with, so I had to do my son’s home-schooling.

I’ve been chasing business and haven’t had the time. It’s led to lots of rows and I felt she was unsympathetic over our money worries.

I saw her best mate when I was out for a run one day and it was good to talk to someone different. She runs too and we started to exercise together.

She’s 35 and we talked more and more openly. After a couple of weeks, she began to give me signals that she was interested in me.

One day she said she’d always fancied me and that I don’t deserve the treatment I get from my wife — that she understands how tough life is for me.

She asked when I’d last had sex, which was before lockdown, and suggested I call in round hers when I went for my run the next day.

She opened the door, kissed me and took me by the hand to her bedroom. She’s got a fit and slim body and is brilliant in bed.

I’ve been round regularly since and we really seem to gel. It’s wrong but it feels so perfect. I have never felt so much love for anyone before.

My lover had guilty feelings because of my wife, so she ended it.

Then she gave me a new mobile number and says she wants to see me but doesn’t want a relationship. Is she playing with my feelings?

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I OFTEN hear from women whose partner doesn’t get the importance of foreplay.

If he is otherwise a good guy, the cure is a sexual make-over, as my e-leaflet Fed Up With Wham-bam? explains.

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DEIDRE SAYS: She clearly wants sex without strings (maybe she realised a relationship might mean taking on your troubled son) but you have already got feelings for her and it is never going to work out.

Wake up and act like a responsible adult. I know life is feeling hard but you have two children as well as a marriage.

Your son’s behaviour probably reflects distress resulting from your first marriage break-up. How would a second affect him?

Stop seeing your lover. Focus on helping your son – and it can only help your marriage.

My e-leaflet on Troubles With Teenagers will help.

You can also get help to cope with his behaviour through Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).

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