Woman, 32, who became polyamorous after a DECADE of marriage reveals she now alternates between living with her husband and boyfriend – and insists the men are FRIENDS

  • Sarra-Maria Karlström-Rantala, 32, from Finland has husband and boyfriend
  • Met Jani, 28, at concert last year and wanted a relationship with him
  • Her husband Ville, 34, was taken aback but gave his blessing
  • She lives with each on alternate weeks and two men are friends but not lovers  

A woman has revealed how after a decade of being happily married, she met the second love of her life and decided she was polyandrous – with a husband and a boyfriend. 

Café owner, Sarra-Maria Karlström-Rantala, 32, and labourer, Ville, 34, from Rovaniemi, Finland, have been together for 11 years, after meeting at a rock bar. 

A year ago, Sarra met I.T worker, Jani, 28, while filming a concert his rock band was performing at on the beach and they swiftly became friends.

Over time, Sarra felt a romantic connection to Jani and she soon told both men that she wanted to be polyandrous – which refers to a woman having two male partners – with them both.

Although the men were both taken aback by the announcement and the concept of being polyamorous, they have learned to live with their newfound lifestyle since and have found it works for them.

Sarra-Maria Karlström-Rantala, 32,with her boyfriend Jani (left) and her husband Ville (right). The trio have been in a polyamorous relationship for a year, with Sarra dating Jani while remaining married to Ville

Sarra with her boyfriend Janni who she met a year ago while filming a concert his rock band was performing at on the beach in Finland. They became friends and she soon confessed to him that she wanted a relationship, despite being happily married 

‘I was the one who came out as polyamorous, which was a shock for the guys at first,’ Sarra said.

‘I’m dating both of the guys, but the guys don’t date each other. They have become very good friends though.

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‘Being married to two guys isn’t legal in Finland, so I’m legally married to Ville, and in 2020 I will have a Pagan/Viking ceremony with Jani called handfasting. It’s kind of like a wedding but the priest is our friend.

‘We don’t all live together yet, but we hope to soon. We do own a café together though.

Ville and Sarra have been happily married for years and first met at a rock bar more than a decade ago, but he was surprisingly accepting when she announced she wanted a polyamorous relationship with another man 

Sarra alternates between living with her husband Ville (left) and boyfriend Jani for a week at a time, but admits one occasionally gets jealous of the other 

‘At the moment Ville and Jani have their own homes close to each other so I live with Ville for one week and then Jani the next week, and it carries on like so. We spend a lot of time together as a three though.

‘Now, Ville is very into the lifestyle, but Jani does remain more monogamous than us two – but he’s fine with the situation now.’

Polyamory is the concept of loving more than one person, and polyandrous defines a woman who chooses to take two or more husbands.

Sarra admits that some friends and relatives were a bit taken aback by the unusual arrangement, but says most have been very supportive. Right: Sarra with her husband Wille, who doesn’t have a physical relationship with Jani, but has become close friends with him 

A polyamorous relationship isn’t without its trouble though as Sarra admits that jealously can be a natural emotion occasionally.

‘Of course, we sometimes get jealous, but not that much anymore,’ Sarra said.

‘Sometimes there are moments when either Ville or Jani feel a bit jealous of the other getting to spend time with me that day or something,’ she revealed.

‘We speak about everything very openly and we do spend a lot of time together which limits the jealousy. For us, polyandrous means being in a loving relationship and committed to each other.’

Sarra is planning a handfasting ceremony with Jani in 2020 where they will commit to each other in a ceremony that has its roots in pagan and Viking tradition 

The trio out on a snowy walk together. According to Sarra, they spend a lot of time together and are very committed to and happy with their arrangement

Janni pictured on a day out with Sarra. Although he has to share his girlfriend Sarra with her husband, she says that he is more monogamous and doesn’t see other people 

The trio are very happy in love and they are committed to their relationships. But Sarra does admit that it wasn’t an easy thing for them to explain to their respective families, with Ville not being able to tell his parents about the polyamorous element of the relationship yet.

‘Jani’s family and my family know about the relationship, but Ville’s don’t,’ added Sarra.

‘Jani’s family have been really accepting from the very beginning, as soon as they found out.

Sarra and her husband Ville who is happy to share his wife with her boyfriend Jani, who she lives with on alternate weeks 

Sara admits that she and Ville receive more questions about their sex life than other couples because of their unusual arrangement in which she is also dating Jani 

‘For my mum it was a lot harder for her to understand and she was a bit shocked at first. But she’s alright about the situation now. 

‘Some people we meet are a bit shocked, but more people just want to know how it works in terms of the arrangement we have. 

‘They also want to know if the guys are in a relationship with each other.

‘We get questions about our sex life more than other couples probably would do, and that element is really weird. 

Sarra says that sometimes people are a bit shocked when they find out about her unusual arrangements, but says that most people close to her are very supportive 

‘But our closest friends are very supportive and really lovely about it all.

‘We want to show that it’s okay to be yourself. It might take time to get to a certain point, and it might be a hard journey to make, but you deserve to be happy. Love is love.’

The three hope to move in together soon, and the future also holds Jani and Sarra’s Viking handfasting ceremony when they will commit themselves to one another.

To find out more, you can visit Sarra’s Instagram, @therealsarrastory.

Sarra admits that her two lovers sometimes get jealous when one wants to spend the day with her, but reveals that communication and discussing issues openly is the key to avoiding resentment 


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