Even if you’re not kinky IRL, there’s a good chance your brain might be: Whether we admit it in the daylight, or not, most of us – as in, 97 percent of us – indulge in the odd (or plentiful, who are we to judge) sexual fantasy.
When it comes to getting turned on, our brains might play a bigger role than we give them credit for. Not only are fantasies a “normal” part of our sexuality, but they can also be a good way to explore what you really want between the sheets, all from the safe confines of your own mind.
That being said, the topic still tends to be one reserved for intimate discussion with our inner circle, our partner or ourselves — leaving most of us with questions: Who has them? How common are they? What the hell do other people think about?
Well, our sexually-inquisitive prayers have been answered, in the form of a new book: “Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Improve Your Sex Life” – written by social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, who quizzed more than 4,000 people, aged between 18 to 87, on their sexual fantasies, sexual history and personalities in order to shine a light on this — usually under covers — area of our lives.
The study revealed some surprising insights into not only into what’s going on between the sheets but how our personalities dictate where we let our mind wander too.
Here are 7 surprising facts:
Most people have sexual fantasies – a lot
Almost all (97 percent) of those surveyed admitted to having sexual fantasies and the vast majority had them frequently, between several times a week and several times a day.
Your fantasies most likely fit into one of these themes
Most fantasies fall into one of these major themes: multi-partner sex (e.g. threesomes), power, control or rough sex (e.g. bondage), novelty, adventure and variety. Other less common themes included: taboo and forbidden sex; non-monogamy; passion and romance; erotic flexibility.
If you’re an introvert vs extrovert
Being an introvert or extrovert might influence your fantasies: Extroverts are more likely to fantasize about group and non-monogamy sex. They are also more likely to be praised for their sexual performance in their fantasies. Introverts are more likely to imagine intimacy and passion.
If you’re “detail conscious”
Those who consider themselves more detail conscientious are more likely to plan more elaborate fantasies, while considerate types focused more on pleasing their partners.
Women are more likely to daydream about rough sex
Lehmiller’s study found women fantasize more about bondage and sadomasochism than men.
Men are more likely to focus on a specific person
Both men and women said their fantasies included an emotional element, such as imagining themselves as competent and irresistible. However, men are more likely than women to focus on a specific person in their fantasies.
The surprising group most likely to fantasize about group sex
Older people are more likely to fantasize about threesomes and group sex while younger generates focused more on passion and romance. Women also fantasies a lot about group sex — although not quite as much as their male counterparts. Women are more likely to imagine same-sex scenarios. They also cared more about the setting than men did.
Source: Read Full Article
I got £1,000 cheque in the post thanks to 'no brainer' Martin Lewis tip – how you can too | The Sun
Skint carer rakes in £2,000 a month by stripping to feed her three kids
‘It’s hard being hot mums – we’re told our outfits are inappropriate for school’
Sands International Film Festival Sets Stanley Tucci For Live Q&A Plus Screening Of His 1996 Culinary Comedy ‘Big Night’
‘I was mistaken for a grandma after going grey aged 10 – but now I embrace it’
The best things to see and do in Melbourne in April
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s Daughter Updates Her Wolf Cut With Dark Color
‘I was told I sound thick’ – Brits with strong accents talk bias