How do you signal to your partner that you’d quite like to have sex?
Perhaps you don’t need to make a big song and dance about it, having already scheduled in dedicated time just for getting intimate.
Maybe you’re a fan of a direct approach, declaring that you’re in need of an orgasm and would be grateful if your partner would lend a hand.
Or you might just need to do a stretch or kiss your partner’s neck to let them know it’s on.
We all have different ways to initiate sex… which can cause issues when your method – or the frequency with which you use it – doesn’t match up with a partner’s.
How are you to know that your partner was clearly hinting at sex when they said they wanted to go to bed early, if you tend to signal you’re not in the mood by saying how tired you are?
Maybe knowing the most popular ways men and women initiate sex could help us decipher this particular code.
Handy, then, that dating site IllicitEncounters.com asked 2,000 of their users how they get sex started, then compiled a list of the most common answers.
Bear in mind, before you read on, that this is a limited survey, not only in the number of people asked, but also because all those asked are users of a site that’s for having affairs – so their approach to sex and dating may not be representative of the general population.
Your best bet is probably to ask your partner how they like to initiate sex and how they’d like you to initiate. Communication is key, and all that.
But perhaps the most common answers can give you a bit of a hint of what to expect, and make you a touch less oblivious to your other half’s come-ons.
The most popular ways to initiate sex:
Women’s most popular ways to initiate sex:
Men’s most popular ways to initiate sex:
While for women the most popular way to get things going is a long kiss, the second favourite is asking verbally – which matches up to men’s preferred option, even if the actual words used are different.
The survey found that sex is initiated by men two thirds of time – 64% of men said they nearly always make the first move compared to 36% of women.
Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: ‘Men and women use different tactics to initiate sex.
‘Men are much more likely to be up front and verbally ask for sex whereas women use more subtle methods to indicate they are in the mood.
‘Men still take the lead when it comes to sex but the gap is definitely closing as women become more sexually empowered and open about expressing exactly what they want in the bedroom.
‘Women having affairs are slightly more likely than men to initiate sex the first time.
‘I think this is because women primarily have affairs because they are highly sexed and want the excitement of sleeping with someone new whereas lots of men are looking for a more emotional connection as well as sex.’
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