AFTER a rough year, we could all use a good laugh.
To tickle your funny bone, Kate Docherty has pulled together some of the best – and corniest – jokes from 2020.
From the pandemic to royals to Brexit, find the year as told in gags.
Q: What happens when people refuse to social distance?
A: It’ll all end in tiers.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because the other chickens weren’t wearing masks.
Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”
Q: What song did the World Health Organisation play when it discovered dogs can’t spread Covid?
A: WHO let the dogs out.
Q: Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill?
A: The National Elf Service
Q: What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.
Q: What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Coronavirus walks into a bar. The bartender says: “hey buddy we don’t serve infectious diseases here.” To which the virus replies “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
Q: Why did Princess Leia contract Coronavirus?
A: Because she went to woo Han.
Q: What do you call a 17-year-old with Covid?
A: A quaran-teen
Q: What do you not bring to a house party in 2020?
A: A case of Corona
Q: What does the italian outbreak have in common with spaghetti hoops?
A: They’ve both been pasta round.
Tip of the iceberg
Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Q: Why did the chicken not want to self-isolate?
A: Because he felt cooped up.
Q: Why can’t you eat sourdough bread with a curry?
A: It’s a naan-starter
Q: Why should Roy Hodgson be made Prime Minister?
A: Because he has a fantastic record of leaving Europe swiftly.
Q: Why does Boris Johnson like tea so much?
A: Because tea leaves.
Have you heard the new pop song about coronavirus? It’s very catchy.
Q: Why does Prince Harry like going to the dentist?
A: Because it’s the only place he’ll get a crown.
Q: What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker?
A: Pays her off.
Q: What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
A: The One Show!
Q: How did the candle get fit?
A: He started doing Joe Wicks.
They say we should have predicted the pandemic this year. But hindsight is 2020.
Q: Did Rudolph go to home school?
A: No. He was Elf-taught.
Q: Why does Kim Kardashian hate Christmas so much?
A: She’s always the butt of the Christmas cracker jokes
Did you hear about the 2020 toilet paper shortage? It was tearable.
Q: Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year?
A: Because he’s tired of being in the single market
Q: Why has Phillip Green cancelled his Christmas nativity play?
A: No prophet
You’ll have to wait
Have you heard the joke about coronavirus? You have to wait two weeks to see if you get it.
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