Suzanne Shaw turned to alcohol to cope after Hear’Say dramatically split.
Suzanne found fame with former bandmates Kym Marsh, Myleene Klass, Danny Foster and Noel Sullivan after the group won Popstars in 2001.
Together they went on to release singles such as the chart-topping Pure and Simple and The Way To Your Love.
However Kim soon quit the group less than a year into their fame. She was replaced by Johnny Shentall, but the new line-up was short-lived and they broke up for good in 2002.
Suzanne said the impact of their hectic popstar lifestyle, including her love life being picked over in public, didn’t really sink in until the split.
‘It wasn’t until it stopped suddenly that I thought, “What the hell just happened?”,’ she told The Sun.
Adding that she couldn’t ‘process the trauma’ she likened the brief and brutal experience to post-traumatic stress disorder.
She went on: ‘I was in denial for a long time. I went into a deep place and my coping mechanism became a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol, which numbed the pain.’
The singer said she didn’t drink much while in the group as their schedules didn’t allow it, but suddenly being out of Hear’Say meant ‘there were definitely times when I was like, “Let’s party till the early hours and do 25 Jaegerbombs”.’
Suzanne also suffered from post-natal depression after the birth of her eldest child Corey and kept how she was feeling to herself.
Although ‘totally overwhelmed’ the thought of taking her own life never crossed her mind.
‘All I could think was, “I don’t want to be me,” and that I needed to get away from the mental chatter in my head,’ she said.
She has since overhauled her lifestyle and stopped drinking after becoming an ambassador for One Year No Beer.
She told Metro she is working on getting enough sleep and has signed up with professional trainers.
‘If I feel like having a drink, I don’t because I know it will make me feel worse. My friends say there’s no harm in having one drink – but I was never the type to just have one drink, I’d have the whole bottle.
‘I’m better off without it. And there are so many alcohol-free wines and beers now,’ she explained.
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