‘Grief is a ghost, it pulls you down’: Vinnie Jones says he’s ‘broken’ four years on from the death of his beloved wife Tanya as he visits her grave on their wedding anniversary
- Tanya passed away in 2019 aged 53 at their home in Los Angeles after a brave six-year battle with cancer
Vinnie Jones feels ‘broken’ inside and ‘struggles to comprehend’ going to bed on his own, four years on from the death of beloved wife Tanya.
Tanya passed away in 2019 aged 53 at their home in Los Angeles after a brave six-year battle with cancer.
Vinnie, who had been married to Tanya for 25 years when she tragically died, recently visited her grave on what would have been their wedding anniversary.
And although the years have passed since their last goodbye, the grief is, at times, unbearable for the former footballer, 58.
In a new interview, Vinnie spoke of how he throws himself into work and has sought help from a psychologist to try and not feel like he is ‘drowning’ in his own despair.
Heartache: Vinnie Jones feels ‘broken’ inside and ‘struggles to comprehend’ going to bed on his own, four years on from the death of beloved wife Tanya
Soulmates: Tanya passed away in 2019 aged 53 at their home in Los Angeles after a brave six-year battle with cancer (pictured in 2013)
‘[Grief] is a ghost, it’s a blanket. It wraps around you and it pulls you down. You don’t know when it’s going to happen, why it happens. It just happens,’ he told Stuff.
‘You’ve got to try and get your head above water, breathe in as long as you can because you know you’re going to be pulled under again.
‘You got to give people what they want, or you f*****g drown. It’s f*****g exhausting [Sometimes I want to] build a 50 foot wall around to keep everybody out and keep me in… My spirit may be broken inside, but I think I’ve got enough knowledge and enough experience to cope with it.’
Vinnie is now hosting Three’s reality series Tracked which follows contestants undertaking a series of tough challenges in New Zealand whilst trying to not be tracked by SAS specialists.
The actor previously wrote a book about his experiences, Lost Without You: Loving And Losing Tanya.
In 2013, they were both diagnosed with melanoma, the most dangerous form of skin cancer which kills around 2,000 people every year in the UK, and fought it together, getting the all-clear two years later. However, the disease would later return for Tanya.
Jones has blamed his outdoor lifestyle for the cancer – aggravated by his move to Los Angeles with Tanya to pursue his film career – while he claimed her cancer was triggered by drugs she took since having a heart transplant in her early 20s.
Devoted: Vinnie, who had been married to Tanya for 25 years when she died, recently visited her grave on what would have been their wedding anniversary (pictured in 1994)
Keeping busy: In a new interview, Vinnie spoke of how he has thrown himself into work and has sought help from a psychologist (pictured at their wedding renewal)
Jones and Tanya had met aged 12 before exchanging vows in 1994, with the actor previously admitting on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories that he will never remarry.
A recovering alcoholic, Jones is now a decade sober.
He previously described the heartbreaking story of how Tanya learned her cancer had spread to her brain in a phone call at their home in Palm Springs on Christmas Eve while they had 15 or so family members round for Christmas.
It was the moment they realised ‘it’s beat us’, Jones said, but Tanya was determined to have ‘the best Christmas ever’ so kept it secret from everyone. ‘The bravery of her is unfathomable,’ Jones added. ‘All’s she wanted to do was please people.’
He also told the story of how he believes he might have connected with Tanya spiritually after her death. At around midnight on the night Tanya died, Jones was sitting outside in the darkness, and he said: ‘We always had this thing, Tans and I – when I was away I’d throw her a kiss and she’d catch it.
‘There was a star, very close and not very high. So I said: “Is that you, babe?” Nothing. I went inside but thought… “I didn’t throw the kiss”. So I went back out, threw the kiss and the light went whoosh!” I swear that happened.’
If you need help call the Samaritans on 116 123 or email [email protected].
Source: Read Full Article
