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A man has been caught on CCTV taking a "very large" dildo from the shelves of a sex shop without paying.
Police are hunting for the thirsty thief after he grabbed the sex toy, gave it a once-over and shoved it into his trouser pocket.
He then continued to walk around the shop and admired the other kinky wares on offer before exiting the store, taking the massive sex toy with him, The Chronicle reported.
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Ash Sturner, the owner of Love Heart Adult Shop in Toowoomba in Queensland, Australia, eventually discovered her business' "largest tester" was missing from its usual display.
"It’s a very big item to steal, I guess by the way he put it in his pocket … staff wouldn’t be looking there," she said.
She added the thief may have made a beeline for the toy as it costs an eye-watering AUD $200 (£114) and that many people had given the tester a fondle since its last clean – saying it wouldn't have been the "first" item she’d steal.
"It's not really hygienic," she told Daily Mail Australia. "We clean our sex toys daily, but between 9am to 6pm, you have at least 10 people touching these items."
While Ash was frustrated that the robbery had taken place in the first place, she was glad the cameras caught the so-called "dildo bandit".
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Revealing the footage to the public, Ash took to the store's Facebook page to issue a savage take-down of the thief.
She captioned the video: "This is probably going to be as awkward for you, as it was for us to post…
"That’s a nice 7.5 inch you have in your pants… shame it’s just our tester.
"Maybe you guys needed it more than we did, but it won’t warm & rotate for too long without its charger!!"
The humiliating post clearly did something, too, as Ash confirmed the man messaged the store's page to confess to his crimes after the CCTV footage went viral.
"He did message the Facebook page saying he was sorry and that he was paid and dared to do it," she told Daily Mail Australia.
"But he hasn't attempted to bring it back.
"Him and his partner were in here, so she kind of distracted staff while he took the sex toy."
Queensland police confirmed they are currently investigating the incident.
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