Brits took a massive masturbation break to take in King Charles’s Coronation but made up for lost time straight afterwards, the Daily Star can exclusively reveal.
Pageview traffic collected by PornHub showed how the nation’s porn patterns fluctuated throughout the day during Saturday’s (May 6) ceremony and beyond.
The data found that Brits staved off the adult content for a bit while King Charles got crowned with the lowest traffic coming in at 11am, the moment the ceremony began inside Westminster Abbey.
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The numbers started to plummet an hour or so before the first part of the procession from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey, presumably due to a stifling national monarchical fervour.
At its trough, the number of people watching porn nationwide fell to 10.4% below the daily average with the UK seemingly all-consumed by royal fever.
With millions of users each of these percentage points, according to Porn Hub, represents “hundreds of thousands of people skipping their morning visit to PH.”
As the Ceremony inside the Abbey kicked off, the number of people cracking on started to pick up again.
Just before 1pm balance was restored but things soon went in the opposite direction.
With the King’s royal procession due to have arrived back at Buckingham Palace at around 1:30pm the nation went the other way, logging onto the porn site with newfound vigour.
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By 2pm and with King Charles safely back in his Palace the UK picked up the pace causing a spike in page views 7.7% above the average.
Speaking exclusively to the Daily Star, a PornHub spokesperson: “That could be a surge in patriotic excitement, or because people had the afternoon off, so they had more opportunity to visit Pornhub.”
They added that people, “found time later in the day to visit the site when they wouldn't normally.
“While PH doesn't share specific user numbers, it's accurate to say the coronation may have altered the schedule of several hundred thousand Saturday w****.”
The people of the North East seemingly took the biggest shine to the goings on in Westminster with a 25% drop in porn watching on Saturday.
The good people of the South West meanwhile were clearly less fussed, with just a 1% drop in regular traffic rates.
In the capital, viewing numbers were down 7%.
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