UK d*ck drought as crippling backlogs leave hen dos without willy inflatables

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Willies have been hit hard in an unprecedented shortage of inflatables and straws just as the stag and hen party season gets into full swing.

Brits are now struggling to get their hands on phallic goodies of any shape or size, with China ’s hard approach to tackling Covid being blamed.

“We are currently in peak season, but we just can’t get enough penis products to meet demand,” said Matt Mavir, boss of Last Night of Freedom.

Blaming the slowdown on China's on-off lockdowns as the biggest factor in supply issues, Matt added that once manufactured they have to pay an eye-watering near five-fold increase in shipping.

"Even then, they are incredibly slow to arrive,” said Matt.

Will Johnson, finance director, tasked with overseeing the Gateshead-based firm’s warehouse, said: "We had a shipping container full of one penis product arrive from China this week.

"When we opened it, I felt like I’d just got FA Cup final tickets through the post,” admitted Will, a trained accountant.

However, he lamented the seven month wait it took to get his hands on their most popular penis product.

“The supply issues we are facing are unprecedented. I have been here almost 20 years and I’ve never
known a time like it,” he said.

The industry’s penis problem was initially exasperated by Britain’s Covid battle.

"Wholesalers weren’t placing orders in the Far East and warehouses across Britain were empty,” added Will.

“We expected the situation would pick up, but it is actually now worse than ever.”

Will believes the crisis could ultimately lead to an unexpected post-Brexit boost for any British plastic penis manufacturers.

"China’s key advantage is it is cheap, but there’s no point being cheap if you can’t get the stock," he said.

"We also want to do our bit for the planet too, so if there was a greener alternative, that would be a huge factor it our decision making.

"The problem is we have struggled to find a British supplier for a lot of our products.

“There’s a real gap in the market ready for someone to fill it.”

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