A mum was left in stitches after her husband put down a "green carpet" instead of astro turf in their garden.
Pauline Tremble, 54, "didn't have the heart" to tell Andy, 61, to get rid it after he unveiled his hard work in the garden.
The couple from Irvine, Scotland, forked out for the material after bargain lover Andy spotted it on eBay.
But it wasn't until he rolled it out that Pauline noticed it was "rough as sandpaper" and feared someone might "lose half a leg" if they fell on it.
Pauline told the Daily Record: "I don't have the heart to tell him to lift it, he was so pleased with himself until he saw my face.
"He said it will look fine once he makes a set of wooden toadstools and a table and buys a dozen gnomes from Poundland.
"It's probably listed as astro turf but you can see the colour of it, no grass is that shade.
"You would lose half your leg if you fell on it, it's as rough as sandpaper."
Andy wasted no time rolling out the astro turf as soon as it arrived on Thursday.
Now he plans to transform the garden into his own personal golf putting green.
Pauline added: "He was joking that he's going to put holes in and make it a putting green but has now told me he's just bought three holes and 6ft flags.
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"He says he's going to make a sign saying Royal Kidsneuk Golf Club.
"He bought it from eBay, his second favourite shop, the first is Poundland.
"He loves a wee bargain.
"He was amazed they delivered it within 12 hours of ordering online.
"But we were all laughing that they were probably jumping around the warehouse laughing that some mug had finally ordered it and rushed it out before it was cancelled lol."
Posting Andy's handywork job on Facebook Pauline said: "When your husband tells you he's going to lay a wee bit of astro turf at the front door then proceeds to lay down a giant bright green carpet instead.
"Sorry neighbours but feel free to come over for a game of bowls."
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