My neighbours will hate me, but I must write this, for the good of the nation and the future of our children. Early this week, I crept down our short inner-west street with a notebook and conducted a stealth audit of bedroom secrets. I’ve lived here 30 years. I know what goes down.
By my count, there are 34 spare bedrooms in my street, 34 rooms with no one sleeping in them (unless you count the odd visiting relative). If the state seized control of those bedrooms, we could ease the housing shortage. I haven’t quite figured out the best way to make it happen – sticks or carrots – but we must act.
I’ve lived on my street for 30 years. I know what goes down.Credit:iStock
Is this a deranged idea? Sure – but what else have you got for a country where homeless rates are soaring, interest rates are soaring, rents are soaring. We do not have enough homes for people.
This week, the government’s marquee $10 billion housing fund bill is struggling. The Coalition rejected it outright and the Greens want an entire reframe. Developers, councils and residents are at constant war with each other. The Bank of Parents (formerly the Bank of Mum and Dad but less heteronormative) is like one of those sweet old-school credit unions, but will only work in boom boomerland and only benefit this progeny.
There is one immediate fix for the housing crisis: nationalise our 13 million spare bedrooms. Look, it’s true I love government intervention when things look like they are going to hell in rent hikes and rate hikes. But in the short term, while the Coalition and the Greens overlook the good in favour of the perfect, the bedroom solution could work.
Now, full disclosure, I too have been guilty of hoarding bedrooms. My offspring had long flown the nest, were all dispiritedly renting and made clear they had no desire to return to the family home. Harsh, after all my years of doting. My lovely spouse and I even started going to open inspections to see what downsizing looked like. But after one day looking at new apartments with kitchens built only to receive Uber Eats, that same lovely spouse said a mind-breaking thing to me. He said, it’s too soon. The kids will move back home.
There are 13 million spare bedrooms in Australia.Credit:iStock
In the meantime, we housed a bunch of people who needed a room. The evangelist who constantly told me I was doing a bad job of parenting because I “let” my kids live with their partners before marriage. Or the friend who slept over regularly, drank a bottle or two of wine each night and snored like rain on corrugated iron. There were others.
Then the kids moved back. With partners. Without partners. With partners and babies. There will be a time to rightsize but those of us giving up our family homes, creaky memories and the garden it took decades to grow, might need some therapy around stamp duty because the federal Coalition’s incentive for downsizing (funnelling a lump into your super) hasn’t been a runaway success.
UNSW’s Edgar Liu, from the City Futures Research Centre, says intergenerational living is on the increase. More young people have moved back to live with already existing families. And if you have to share your space, surely better to choose the folks you already know. His colleague at the centre, Chris Martin, tells me we need more new housing and those spare bedrooms should be allowed to remain filled with sewing and carpentry and whatever else.
But here’s a thought. Want to hold on to your bedrooms? Stop complaining about overdevelopment.
We had a massive fracas about a development in my hood. Grumpy buggers would knock at our door, urging us to sign a petition saying no to the redevelopment of the Harold Park Paceway. After the approval, there were further petitions which rejected flights of stairs connecting those new apartments to other parts of the suburb because of risks of “burglary” from the new residents. There were also those who resisted increased social and public housing in the area with catastrophic fantasies about what would transpire if “such tenants” moved in. What used to be called the NSW Department of Housing bought two blocks in my street. It’s a relief to have more people around, more young adults, more squidgy toddlers.
The antis were misguided. Other action groups and receptive councillors fought for open green space and better public transport. They won. My suburb, complete with new developments, social housing, public housing and backpacker hostels, feels alive, although it could do with a massive revamp of our high street. That’s true in all our cities and regions, although Melbourne has a head start.
Maybe, instead of spare bedrooms, we should seize those empty shops. My neighbours might be relieved.
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