Written by Lucy Partington
Freelance beauty editor Lucy Partington is obsessed with all things skincare, collecting eyeshadow palettes that she’ll probably never use, and is constantly on the hunt for the ultimate glowy foundation.
The survey, commissioned by Hair by Sam McKnight, also says that a third of women admit their hair negatively impacts their mood.
Call me vain, but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t care about the way my hair looks. If I really stretch my mind back, it was probably long before I was introduced to styling tools. Before my trusty ghds came into my life, I had a clunky pair of cheap straighteners that probably did more harm than good, but they meant I was able to straighten my otherwise fluffy hair. And for a long time, I didn’t wear my hair down, even after spending hours straightening every single strand. The smallest flick or a little bit of frizz and it was tied straight up in a ponytail. I allowed my hair to affect my day – and my mood – more than I care to admit.
I don’t think it helps that my hair sits somewhere between curly and wavy, which means I can never just let it dry naturally. Hindsight says I should have learned how to embrace its natural state way back when, but because I never did, I’m now compelled to blow-dry it and straighten it after every wash.
So, yes, you’ll be glad to know that the straightener obsession is still alive and well. And even though I’ve worked in the beauty industry for almost a third of my life – and have been lucky enough to learn from and have my hair styled, cut and coloured by some of the best people in the business – the way my hair looks can still impact my mood and the way I view myself.
And it seems like I’m not alone. A new independent survey, carried out by Mortar Research and commissioned by Hair by Sam McKnight, showed that women say they’re unhappy with their hair 50% of the time, while 70% of those surveyed say they feel self-conscious when they aren’t happy with the way their hair looks.
“Good hair is transformative and it goes way beyond how you look,” says Sam McKnight, celebrity hairstylist and founder of his eponymous brand (who also counts everybody from Kate Moss to Cate Blanchett as clients). “It affects your mental and emotional health – your self-worth, self-confidence, how you interact with people, your productivity, how you hold yourself, what you believe about yourself, your resiliency. Everything is impacted when you aren’t happy with your hair.”
I know it sounds silly, but hearing that other people feel the same makes me feel seen. I’ve often minimised my feelings, blaming other things for my bad mood on any given day or coming up with another excuse as to why I can no longer go for dinner. Because letting something as stupid as the way my hair looks get in the way of me living my life sounds pathetic – but maybe it’s not quite as pathetic as I’ve convinced myself it is.
Over the years, I’ve slowly learned to care less – maybe it’s something to do with getting older – but there are still occasions when my hair will bother me, especially when it’s humid outside or it’s chucking it down with rain, but they’re less frequent than they used to be. For anybody who’s in the same camp as me, here are a few little tricks and tips I’ve learned along the way.
Remember, it’s only hair
The real irony here is that I’m not precious about my hair – I’ve had it every colour and length you can imagine. Even this year, after it grew to the longest it’s ever been, I went to my hairdresser and told him he could chop it all off, and he did. My view is that hair is just hair, it’ll grow back – and I think that’s a really important thing to remember. A bad cut or colour won’t last forever, I promise.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable
Granted, this phrase is usually reserved for more serious situations, but I’m saying that it applies to hair too. I slowly learned that having uncontrollable kinks or waves in my hair didn’t automatically make my hair look rubbish – in fact, added volume and movement can make it look better – and it was about reframing my thoughts. Start by styling hair differently at home or wearing it in a different way to your preferred look, so you can get used to it before you take it outside into the big wide world.
Take the compliment
If you’re anything like me, whenever somebody comments on my hair I assume it’s because it looks terrible and that’s why they’re drawing attention to it. Even if they’re saying something nice. So, instead of doing what I do, take the compliment: chances are people won’t bother saying anything if they don’t want to, so embrace it, and let the kindness of other people lift your mood up rather than letting your hair bring it down.
Images: Lucy Partington
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