Kelsey Parker, the widow of the late Tom Parker, has shared that she was "caught off guard" by a sudden surge of grief as she wrapped her children's Christmas presents.
Kelsey, 32, and her children Aurelia, three, and son Bodhi, two, are currently preparing for their first Christmas without Tom, who passed away earlier this year, after a two year battle with stage four glioblastoma brain cancer.
The actress turned documentarian shared her heartbreak with her 375k Instagram followers, as she filmed herself discussing her grief and posted it to her story last night.
She began: "Hey everyone, I know a lot of you have been checking in with me today and I just really appreciate it, thank you so much.
"Today's been a real struggle. It's my grandad's funeral tomorrow, so I think that's like bringing, like surfacing a lot of grief and trauma and probably a bit of post-traumatic stress. It's just been so tough."
Kelsey then says that she's spent the evening wrapping presents, telling her followers that she was "caught of guard" as her grief resurfaced as she realised the presents were all signed just from her and not her and Tom.
"And not that Tom would have ever helped me actually wrap a present. I don't think for the whole 13 years I was with him, he actually ever wrapped a present, except for mine and I blatantly know he got someone else to wrap them," she continued.
"It was writing the gift tags. Like ‘To Ray, to Bo, Merry Christmas, Lots of love Mummy’. Like that really, really got me tonight. It caught me by surprise.
"And I sat there and I was writing them and I was like all these presents are just from me. I don't know, this is the thing with grief, it literally catches you off guard.
"And I think deep down I did know this because that's why I've just been putting off Christmas. I've literally just been dreading, dreading Christmas."
Expressing her wish to still make the festive season special for her children, she added: "But I've got to make the best of what I've got. I've also gotta do it for the kids. I've gotta make sure that this is an amazing Christmas for them.
“I'm just going to be so heartbroken. Nothing like a funeral a few days before Christmas. I've got a poem that I'm reading for the funeral. And I've been going through that this morning. That just absolutely tore me apart.
“I mean, what a year,” she finished.
Kelsey has been very open about her grief and even recently released a three-part ITV documentary series called Kelsey Parker: Life After Tom.
On a recent episode she revealed she struggles to listen to The Wanted's emotional song Gold Forever since his passing.
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