Following his recent memoir Will, Will Smith has once again topped the charts in sales and popularity. Written with the help of bestselling author Mark Manson, The Fresh Prince of BelAir star’s book pulls readers into his life. Smith did not hold back on divulging the good and the bad. This included his separation from wife Jada Pinkett Smith — one that did not end in divorce but led to his midlife crisis.

Following the split, Smith found himself vulnerable and in need of guidance. A shaman helped him reach revelations within himself while tripping under the influence of ayahuasca.

Will Smith’s split from Jada Pinkett Smith pushed him into a midlife crisis

Following Smith’s over-the-top celebration of Pinkett’s 40th birthday, he revealed that her reaction led to a blowout fight. She found his effort to be “the most disgusting display of ego I have ever seen in my life.” Smith was frustrated that his well-intentioned birthday gift went without a “thank you” or any positive recognition. 

“I retire from trying to make you happy … I quit,” Smith wrote that he told his wife. “You go do you, and I’m-a go do me.” While it didn’t lead to divorce — neither wanted it — they felt they would be better off working on making themselves happy rather than depending on one another to do it. 

“We agreed that Jada’s happiness had to be her responsibility, and my happiness had to be my responsibility,” he continued. “We were going to seek our distinct, innermost personal joys, and then we were going to return and present ourselves to the relationship and to each other already happy — not coming to each other begging with empty cups, demanding the other person fulfill our needs.”

Smith tripped on ayahuasca 14 times to find answers

Looking for answers after his heartbreak, Smith wrote in his memoir that he sought a shaman to guide him through an experience of drinking ayahuasca — a tea that makes you hallucinate.

The tea allegedly opens up your mind and allows you to access parts of your subconscious that you’ve blocked from yourself. Since Smith was struggling to feel complete despite his achievements and family, he hoped the psychedelic drug would give him the answers.

“I was floating deep in outer space,” he wrote. “I was trillions of light-years away from Earth.”

In his visions, Smith recalls seeing an invisible woman behind him that he came to call “Mother.” He remembered intense feelings like “she’ll never leave me.” Tripping 14 times in total, “Mother” appeared in eight of his visions, leading him to a beautiful realization. 

“If I’m this beautiful, I don’t need number one movies to feel good about myself.” The author wrote, “If I’m this beautiful, I don’t need hit records to feel worthy of love. If I’m this beautiful, I don’t need Jada or anyone else to validate me.”

Where Smith stands with his wife today

Although rumors are circulating about a potential $270 million divorce, no evidence supports it. Neither party has suggested this is a possibility.

Instead, they have said on many occasions, like Brides reports, repeating their marriage motto, “We ride together, we die together — bad marriage for life!”

Today, Smith and Pinkett Smith are still together and married. Despite another bump in the road with her “entanglement” with R&B singer August Alsina, the two show no signs of splitting. Meanwhile, Smith has taken a turn in his career since the ayahuasca trips, taking on roles with more meaning.

His latest project is a leading role in King Richard. Smith shows more maturity and vulnerability than he ever has in previous works. Some are even saying the two-time Oscar nominee is likely to win his first Academy Award for the performance. 

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