Prince Harry has openly divulged into his experience as a Royal Family member, his mental health and the heartache and grief he experienced from losing his mum at a young age in his new docuseries, The Me You Can't See.
Co-created by Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry himself, Apple TV+'s documentary sees the Duke of Sussex sit down to discuss his pain regarding Princess Diana's tragic passing and how the Royal Family failed to help him due to their own old-fashioned ways and principles.
After undergoing therapy for four years, Harry expressed that he is finally ready to talk about his feelings openly.
During the interview, the Prince said: "I wasn't in an environment where it was encouraged to talk about it either, that was kind of squashed. [I needed it for] the past, to heal myself from the past," he said during the first episode.
"I always wanted to be normal, to just be Harry."
Though this was quite open already, there were several other admissions that the Prince mentioned throughout the documentary.
Daily Star have taken a look at the biggest bombshells from Harry's conversation in the documentary, The Me You Can't See.
Turning to drink and drugs to deal with his pain
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Unlike his brother William, Harry was often pictured rolling out of nightclubs and enjoying what appeared to be the fast life.
But in the documentary, Harry revealed that he often masked his pain by binge-drink during the weekends and involving himself in drug misuse.
Talking about this with Oprah, the Prince explained: "I was willing to drink, I was willing to do drugs, I was willing to do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling."
"I slowly became aware that, OK, I wasn't drinking Monday to Friday, but I'd probably drink a week's worth on a Friday or a Saturday night. And I was finding myself drinking not because I was enjoying it but because I was trying to mask something.
He added: "I was completely unaware of it. This was my brain telling me I was in a fight. I never knew that, how could I know that?"
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This wasn't the first time Harry spoke about his joy being in the army, as he often used it as an escape away from being in the UK and the constant media attention.
He also enjoyed the fact that he wasn't seen as an individual.
Harry expressed: "I got to wear the same uniform as everyone else, I had to do all the same training as everyone else, I started from the bottom like everyone else. There was no special treatment because of who I was."
However during his late 20s the Prince started to feel that maybe he "shouldn't be here".
That led to him being told by members of his family that he should "play the game" to make his life easier for himself.
His father Prince Charles 'left him to suffer'
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Prince Harry has previously been frank about his relationship with his father in his interview with Oprah Winfrey that aired on ITV in March, however in the docuseries, Prince Harry went even further to discuss his dad.
He also once said that the family had passed down "genetic pain" which he was eager to break with his family.
Harry said: "My father used to say to me when I was younger, he used to say to both William and I, 'Well it was like that for me so it's going to be like that for you'," Harry told Oprah.
"That doesn't make sense. Just because you suffered doesn't mean that your kids have to suffer, in fact quite the opposite.
"If you suffered, do everything you can to make sure that whatever negative experiences you had, that you can make it right for your kids."
He added: "I've got a hell of a lot of my mum in me.
"The only way to free yourself and break out is to tell the truth."
Feeling uptight whenever he returned to London
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In episode three, Finding What Works, Harry said he always felt uptight whenever he had to return to London.
At the time he wasn't aware of why he felt like this but he was aware that something wasn't quite right.
The Prince explained: "For most of my life I always felt worried, concerned, a little bit tense and uptight whenever I fly back into the UK, whenever I fly back into London.
"And I could never understand why, I was aware of it. I wasn't aware of it at the time when I was younger, but after when I started to do therapy and stuff 'I was aware of it and I was like why do I feel so uncomfortable?'
"And of course for me London is a trigger, unfortunately because of what happened to my mum and because of what I experienced and what I saw."
Meghan's suicide plans
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Meaghan Markle previously expressed to Oprah that she was on the verge of suicide and was unable to access help when she was carrying her first child Archie.
But now, Harry has said that the only reason that prevented his wife from taking her own life was the fact that she felt unfair to him, because he would of lost two women in his life whom he truly loved.
He said: "The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now be put in a position of losing another woman in my life, with a baby inside of her, our baby.
"The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t ‘lost it.’… She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up."
"My mother was chased to her death when she was in a relationship with someone who wasn't white, and now look what's happened. You're talking about history repeating itself? They're not going to stop until she dies."
"It's incredibly triggering to potentially lose another woman in my life."
He continued: "Of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle and then we had to get changed to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event. Then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything's okay.
"There wasn't an option to say, 'you know what, tonight we're not going to go' because just imagine the stories that come from that."
Being angered by the general public for mourning Diana
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Prince Harry also shared his personal experience of how he felt towards the public when his mother passed away. He said at 12 years old it was like having an outer body experience that he never felt before.
But this feeling started to change when the overwhelming grief began to turn to anger towards the public and their reaction.
"It was like I was outside of my body and walking along doing what was expected of me. Showing one-tenth of the emotion everyone else was showing,"
"Like, this was my mum? You've never even met her."
He went on: "I was so angry with what happened to her and the fact there was no justice. At all. Nothing came from that. The same people who chased her into that tunnel photographed her as she was dying on the back seat of that car."
"I don't want to think about her, because if I think about her, I bring up the fact that I can't bring her back and it's just going to make me sad. What's the point in thinking about something sad? What's the point in thinking about someone you've lost and are never going to get back again? And I just decided to not talk about it."
Feeling neglected by the Royal Family
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Harry also went on to accuse his family of "total neglect" when he asked them for help.
He also claimed that Meghan and himself tried for four years to try and make it work but they were left disappointed when Meghan's plea for help was "met with total silence, total neglect".
"We did everything that we possibly could to stay there and carry on doing the role and doing the job. But Meghan was struggling."
"That feeling of being trapped within the family, there was no option to leave," he went on.
"Eventually when I made that decision for my family, I was still told, 'You can't do this'. And it's like, 'Well how bad does it have to get until I am allowed to do this?' She [Meghan] was going to end her life. It shouldn't have to get to that."
Smear campaign against him
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Harry also believes there was an evident smear campaign made against Meghan days before her explosive interview with Oprah Winfrey.
Harry feels the smear was orchestrated by his family which he previously described as "The Firm".
He said before the eve of the broadcast, Meghan would wake up "crying into her pillow."
"Before the Oprah interview had aired, because of their headlines and that combined effort of The Firm and the media to smear her, I was woken up in the middle of the night to her [Meghan] crying in her pillow – because she doesn’t want to wake me up because I’m already carrying too much," he said.
"That’s heart-breaking. I held her. We talked. She cried and she cried and she cried."
- Prince Harry
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