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Jeremy Clarkson is planning to sell a weed infesting his Diddly Squat farm in the Cotswolds as a drink to hipsters.
He is fuming that climate change regulations ban him from burning brome or killing it with chemicals.
So the Clarkson's Farm host is now plotting to sell it as a drink to health nuts and "thin urban women who like to start their day with a glass of green slime".
He said: "This must be the way farmers have to think now.
"I don’t doubt that it will have absolutely no nutritional value and will taste worse than a slab of marzipan-flavoured Marmite, but this is of no consequence to the young and the thin and the foolish."
It comes after his bid to flog fish in his farm shop ended in failure – after animals scoffed all his trout.
The Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? host splashed out on 250 of the fish for a lake at his country pile and hoped to sell the produce at his Diddly Squat Farm Shop.
He even installed electric fences to keep out otters and nets to prevent greedy herons and cormorants diving for his fish.
And he had a pontoon built to give the creatures shade.
Jeremy, 61, has confessed to shoppers in a jokey sign at his Oxfordshire shop: "None of the trouts I planted are for sale in the shop.
"This is because they’ve all been eaten by the heron, the cormorants, the family of otters, or me. They were delicious. Sorry.''
Some of the fish were also lost when heavy rain caused the lake to break its banks.
The Grand Tour presenter earlier said of his fishy experiment: "I’ve bought 250 trouts. That has brought cormorants from the coast and a family of otters from God knows where. There’s a heron too.
"There’s an electric fence to keep the otters out, nets to keep the cormorants at bay and a pontoon to stop the trouts getting sunburnt.
"Yes, I know, I didn’t believe that either, but apparently it’s true.''
His new farm shop is proving a hit with tourists – but not so much with locals, who are objecting to the amount of traffic the farm has created.
Jeremy has been busy trying to harvest his crops lately as he preps for season two of the show – but has explained to fans that he is already struggling due to the weather.
The series has been a huge hit with viewers and has been commissioned for a second season following car fanatic Jeremy's transition to farming life.
- Jeremy Clarkson
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