Tommy Dorfman has had an emotionally charged couple of years, as the actress announced her transition in 2021.
Over the course of the intervening months, she has also confirmed her split from her ex-husband and now a new engagement with a woman.
"Transitioning has been liberating and clarifying,” Tommy said, but did admit it put strain on her previous relationship.
She has received a wave of support from her fans, with most being first introduced to her in the Netflix drama 13 Reasons Why.
Tommy has been opening up about the challenges and excitement of her transition recently, as she has been battling her own identity over the years.
Who is Tommy Dorfman?
Tommy Dorfman is an actress, best known for playing Ryan Shaver in the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why.
She is also known for Love in the Time of Corona, Jane the Virgin and American Princess.
Tommy reintroduced herself as a trans woman in July 2021 during an interview with Time.
At the time, she said: “Coming out is always viewed as this grand reveal, but I was never not out.
“Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman. My pronouns are she/her. My name is Tommy.”
Later, the 30-year-old star admitted that she would have transitioned sooner if it wasn’t for her commitment to 13 Reasons Why.
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Speaking on the Broad Ideas podcast, she said: “In those early years of working, I was just trying to understand [myself].
“I think if I hadn’t booked [13 Reasons] I would have transitioned a lot sooner.
“I think because of my work being so tied to my body and face and identify, or whatever [a character] identified as, it delayed some of my growth and some of my maturation in my twenties.
“I made decisions that were just not aligned with how I really was or what I wanted – but out of fear.”
Why did Tommy Dorfman split from her ex-husband?
After five years of marriage, Tommy Dorfman and her ex-husband Peter Zurkuhlen confirmed they had split in February 2022.
According to TMZ, they first met through a mutual friend in 2005 and tied the knot in 2016.
The exact reason for the split has not been confirmed by either partner, but Tommy did admit that her transition did put strain on the relationship.
Speaking to Time, she explained: "I was in a nine-year relationship in which I was thought of as a more male-bodied person, with a gay man.
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“I love him so much, but we've been learning that as a trans woman, what I'm interested in is not necessarily reflected in a gay man.
"So we've had incredible conversations to redefine our relationship as friends.”
Peter shared his support for Tommy’s transition on Instagram, writing: “You are gorgeous and you are fully you.”
Who is Tommy Dorfman engaged to now?
The name of Tommy’s new partner has not been revealed, though the star did recently open up about why she decided to date women again.
Even though she didn’t announce the identity of her new partner, Tommy did say she is “just a gay girl.”
Speaking on the Broad Ideas podcast, she said: “knew I was interested in women in a way that I hadn’t really been aware of since high school.
“I had this unresolved, unexplored thing. I was like, ‘this is the year that I’m gonna go on some dates with girls and feel that out again, and not feel ashamed about it.’”
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Opening up about her attraction to women was difficult for the actress, as she previously identified herself as a gay man.
Tommy continued: “Because they thought of me as a gay man, they were like, ‘Oh, like you’re the safest person in the world.’'
“And then suddenly, I transition and I become a little bit more threatening, in my head.”
Her relationship with her new fiancé was the first meaningful one she has had with a woman in years, Tommy admitted.
“It’s safe. Also not safe, and like being in love is so scary,” she added. “So uncomfortable, so painful. All the universal feelings of being in love that are probably the same.”
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