‘Let’s give it up for our very Jon Bon GOVEY’: All the gags from Boris’s joke-laden speech to Tory conference as he references THAT night out for (a very red-faced) Michael Gove in an Aberdeen club

Boris Johnson’s Tory conference speech today may have been light on actual policies but he packed in the banter as he poked fun at everyone from Michael Gove to Jeremy Corbyn. 

The Prime Minister played his 45-minute address to the faithful for laughs with his usual scatter-gun style, use of foreign languages and references to Greek mythology.

His light barbs at Levelling Up Secretary Michael Gove gently poked fun at the 54-year-old’s exploits at an Aberdeen’s Pipe nightclub.

The minister was again on the dancefloor last night, throwing some dad shapes at a karaoke reception with MP Tom Tugendhat.

Hours later in the conference speech, Mr Johnson opened his speech by saying: ‘Let’s hear it for Jon Bon Govey. Living proof that we, you all, represent the most jiving, hip, happening and funkopolitan party in the world.’

The Prime Minister played his 45-minute address to the faithful for laughs with his usual scatter-gun style, use of foreign languages and references to Greek mythology.


His light barbs at Levelling Up Secretary Michael Gove gently poked fun at the 54-year-old’s exploits at an Aberdeen’s Pipe nightclub (left). The minister was again on the dancefloor last night, throwing some dad shapes at a karaoke reception with MP Tom Tugendhat (right)

A blushing Mr Gove this morning, watching the speech in which his partying was referenced

With more venom, he mocked ex-Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn as he spoke at the first conference since 2019. 

In a reference to the politician who handed him an 80-seat majority at the last election he highlighted being at the first conference since 2019

‘In fact, it is the first time since the general election of 2019 when we finally sent that corduroyed cosmonaut into orbit where he belongs,’ he noted dryly.

He also took aim at Corbyn’s replacement Sir Keir Starmer. He used his regular attack of ‘Captain Hindsight’ to criticise his Covid caution, saying the Labour leader was ‘like a seriously rattled bus conductor … pushed this way and that by a Corbynista mob of sellotape-spectacled sans-culottes, or the skipper of a cruise liner that has been captured by Somali pirates desperately trying to negotiate a change of course’.

He added: ‘In previous national crises Labour leaders have opted to minimise public anxiety and confusion by not trying to score cheap party political points. One thinks of Attlee or even Michael Foot in the Falklands crisis. 

‘Sadly that was not the approach taken by Captain Hindsight, attacking one week then rowing in behind when it seemed to be working. The human weathervane, the Starmer chameleon. 

‘And in his final act of absurd opportunism he decided to oppose step four of the roadmap in July. That’s right folks if we had listened to Captain Hindsight we would still be in lockdown, we wouldn’t have the fastest growth in the G7.

‘If (Christopher) Columbus had listened to Captain Hindsight he would have discovered Tenerife.’

With more venom, he mocked ex-Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn as he spoke at the first conference since 2019.

He also took aim at Corbyn’s replacement Sir Keir Starmer. He used his regular attack of ‘Captain Hindsight’ to criticise his Covid caution, saying the Labour leader was ‘like a seriously rattled bus conductor … pushed this way and that by a Corbynista mob of sellotape-spectacled sans-culottes’

The PM attacked the Labour left for opposing the AUKUS nuclear submarine deal with Australia and the US, saying it was ‘an idea so transparently right that Labour conference voted overwhelmingly against it – and I know that there has been a certain raucus squaukus from the anti-AUKUS caucus.’

He took aim at the EU’s former Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier and translated the Leave campaign’s ‘take back control’ slogan into French as he pledged to fight people-trafficking gangs at ‘home and abroad’. 

‘Is it not a sublime irony that even in French politics there is now a leading centre-right politician calling for a referendum on the EU,’ the PM said. 

‘Who is now calling for France to reprendre le controle? It’s good old Michel Barnier. That’s what happens if you spend a year trying to argue with Lord Frost, the greatest frost since the Great Frost of 1709.’

The PM joked about being unable to repaint the door of No 10 Downing Street and shared an ambition of trying to ‘rewild’ parts of the country as he welcomed otters and beavers returning to rivers.

He took aim at the EU’s former Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier and translated the Leave campaign’s ‘take back control’ slogan into French as he pledged to fight people-trafficking gangs at ‘home and abroad’.

‘If that isn’t conservative, my friends, I don’t know what is – build back beaver, I say. Though the beavers may sometimes build without local authority permission, you can also see how much room there is to build the homes that young families need in this country. 

‘There is no happiness like taking a set of keys and knowing the place is yours, and you can paint the front door any colour you like. 

‘As it happens I can’t paint my own front door any colour I like – it has to be black – but I certainly don’t have to go far to work.’

The PM joked about being unable to repaint the door of No 10 Downing Street and shared an ambition of trying to ‘rewild’ parts of the country as he welcomed otters and beavers returning to rivers in Devon (pictured)

He referenced 11th century Anglo-Saxon freedom fighter Hereward the Wake as he attacked cancel culture, saying: ‘They really do want to re-write our national story starting with Hereward the Woke.’

He made light of contracting Covid and being put in intensive care in hospital, saying that at one point he looked out the window ‘and amid the rubble of brick they seemed to be digging a hole for something or indeed someone – possibly me.’

He said the HMS Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier was ‘as long as the entire Palace of Westminster and rather more compelling as an argument than many speeches made in the House of Commons’.

He added: ‘It has dozens of F35s (fighter jets) on board and 66,000 sausages aboard, not because want to threaten or be adversarial to anyone – either with the F35s or indeed the sausages – but because we want to stick up for the rule of law that is so vital for freedom of navigation and free trade’.

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