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Ariana Madix revealed she had a “full-blown eating disorder” when she began starring on “Vanderpump Rules.”
“I’ve grown in size,” Madix, 36, said with a laugh while talking to co-star Scheana Shay about how they’ve changed over the years on Friday’s episode of Dear Media’s “Scheananigans” podcast.
“I’ve grown in literal size, but I don’t care as much. I started the show, I feel like, with, like, a full-blown eating disorder,” she recalled.
Madix explained that while she has since recovered, the way she used to think about food still occasionally lingers.
“I feel like I have some tendencies toward disordered eating, but at least I’m more now conscious of it and will fight against it to be healthy,” she said. “Whereas in the past I was just like, ‘Just don’t eat, just don’t eat,’ and that was bad.”
Madix previously kept her eating disorder private, but she has openly discussed her struggles with depression on the Bravo reality show.
“Honestly, I just want to f–king get in my car and drive away and never come back and never see anyone,” she said in a Season 8 episode. “And just like start a new life on a f–king olive farm or something, I don’t know. … I want to leave my life.”
Madix shared on Shay’s podcast that she has since learned how to live with the “waves” of her depression.
“I think that recognizing it as a thing and allowing it to be what it is has definitely helped with getting better or at least dealing with it as it comes in those waves, those ups and downs,” she said.
The “Fancy AF Cocktails” co-author shared that seeing a therapist has also helped her to have an “unbiased” conversation.
“[My depression] was probably always there a little bit under the surface, but I would fight against it so hard because I didn’t know what to call it. … Putting a name to it has allowed me to be like, ‘Right, because this isn’t me, it’s separate from me, but it’s there.’”
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