DEAR DEIDRE: MY raunchy car share journeys are about to come to an end as my husband is insisting on driving me to work and I am devastated.
I’ve been getting a lift with a younger man who lives around the corner and recently our cost-cutting arrangement spilled over into a passionate affair.
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I am 42 and my husband is 45. All we have in common these days are the children.
Other than our daughter, who is 19, and son, who is 17, he is only interested in football, cricket, rugby or Formula 1 — anything but me.
So I was a bit stumped when he announced he would drop me off at work in the mornings.
Normally, he likes to leave earlier than me to beat the traffic, and hates driving through my side of town because the congestion is bad.
On our way in, he asked some awkward questions about my car- share partner.
What do I think of him? Is he in a relationship?
I tried to sound relaxed, saying I wasn’t sure about his relationship status and that I thought he was quiet, but all right.
The truth is, I know my car share partner is single, 37, and brilliant.
We have so much in common and I’m falling for him.
We had always got on well, so when he suggested I get a lift with him rather than take the bus, it made sense.
We soon found we love the same music, and have sing-a-longs.
He got a boxer puppy that was a real handful and asked me for help training her, as I’ve had dogs for years.
After one training session in the park, he leaned in for a kiss goodbye.
It ended up being a full-on kiss on the lips and took my breath away.
Since then we have been more discrete and driven to remote places for our dog walks and intimate sessions.
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Now my husband has said he’ll be happy to drive me to and from work.
I tried to protest but he insisted. I’m worried my husband has rumbled my affair.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound as if your husband suspects your affair.
Now is the time to end it and work out if you have a future with your husband.
Talk to him and let him know you feel distant and want to sort out your relationship.
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Ask him to attend relationship therapy with you.
If he doesn’t want to go, try solo sessions. Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org or 020 7380 1960) can help.
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