What counts as a red flag for you can wildly differ for someone else, but it seems as though a good number of Brits don’t trust serial daters.
A serial dater is someone who dates a lot but doesn’t get to the relationship stage.
This person might have a reputation for it.
While there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s clear this alarms many Brits.
Dating app Badoo found the nation is split, with 50% of those in a poll saying they’d avoid a serial dater, while the other 50% would give them a chance.
Almost half of those against it would find it hard to trust a serial dater, while others would worry they’re not serious enough, or that they’ll be dropped for someone else.
Similarly, 42% think the person would only be in it for the chase.
On the other hand, a third say we shouldn’t judge someone by their relationship history, and that as long as their intentions are clear there’s no issue.
A quarter see no reason as to why they wouldn’t be the person a serial dater settles with.
Persia Lawson, dating and relationships expert, says: ‘Dating someone who has a reputation for being a serial dater is something to approach with caution.’
If they’re always the one causing heartbreak, Persia believes this behaviour could stem from ‘feeling insecure and needing the validation that comes from winning multiple people’s romantic attention and approval’.
But that doesn’t mean all people who date often are ‘bad news’.
The key thing is communication.
Persia adds: ‘Something to bear in mind before you launch yourself full throttle into a romance with someone who has a reputation for being a serial dater is to ask yourself what you desire from the situation.
‘Are you just looking for a bit of fun, or do you want something more serious? Either way, be clear and upfront about this with said person from the get-go – and ask them the same question.’
Signs you should be careful around a serial dater:
- They are often very charming.
- They might come on remarkably strong and ‘lovebomb’ you soon after meeting, being overly generous with compliments and talk of the future, lulling you into a false sense of security
- Sometimes they’ll go the other way and be very casual and non-committal when it comes to making plans – they may even appear to go MIA for a while.
Sometimes, it might just be the case that the serial dater has been unlucky in love, or intentionally wanted to be single for a period but is now ready for something more.
Persia says: ‘We all have a past, so it’s only fair to take the person you’re (considering) dating as they are showing up today with you – not how they may have shown up in the past with others.
‘So long as you are clear and honest about what you want and expect from the outset – and you commit to taking things slowly, dating a serial dater could end up being a surprisingly positive experience.’
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