Love at first swipe! From creating an effective profile to spotting potential red flags, personal stylist and dating coach reveals everything you need to know to SUCCESSFULLY date online
- Alyssa Dineen, founder of Style My Profile NYC and author of The Art of Online Dating, reveals her best tips to forming a strong connection over the internet
- To create an effective online profile, she recommends posting a full body photos, a smiling headshot, a picture with others (1-3 additional people), and an image doing something you love
- While your favorite photo may be from 2019, ‘all photos of yourself should be within the last year or two, at most,’ said Alyssa
- Alyssa reveals how to create a strong and unique bio and how to spot red flags on dating profiles
Stylist and Founder of Style My Profile NYC, Alyssa Dineen, shares her knowledge on dating online
Ready for post-Covid dating? You are not alone.
As the number of people using dating apps has reached an all time high, Alyssa Dineen, founder of Style My Profile NYC and author of The Art of Online Dating, reveals everything you need to know and do to form a strong connection over the internet – starting with having the right pics.
‘Post pandemic, many clients realized all their photos were old and had none to replace them with since we were all homebound,’ said the personal stylist and dating coach.
As the number of people using dating apps has reached an all time high, founder of Style My Profile NYC and author of The Art of Online Dating, Alyssa Dineen, shares her knowledge
PICTURE PERFECT:
While your favorite pic of yourself may be from 2019, ‘all photos should be within the last year or two, at most,’ said Alyssa.
Adding: ‘Of course that depends on how much you’ve changed your hair, grown a beard, gained Covid weight, etc..’
The expert recommends posting the maximum amount of photos the app allows and no less than six. She advises including photos that fulfill the following checklist:
-Full body shot
-Clear, smiling, shoulders-up shot (as your first/primary photo)
-Photo with others
-Photo doing something you love
The expert recommends posting the maximum amount of photos the app allows and no less than six
‘Don’t include a selfie unless you’ve practiced hundreds of them. You should only put a selfie on your profile if you’re very familiar with how to take a good one’
Swimsuit shots are not for everyone.
‘If a swimsuit pic feels like “you” and it’s not forced, I say great to one swimsuit pic as long as you balance it out with other fully-clothed, less sexy photos,’ she said.
The founder of Style My Profile NYC recommends simpler clothing for profile photos so that the focus is on you instead of what you’re wearing.
‘I also always suggest splurging on a few new items to make you feel especially confident and good about yourself before taking profile photos. It really does make a difference.’
‘Your social shot should only have 1-3 other people in it so you don’t get lost’
Alyssa breaks down the do’s and the don’ts to producing the highest quality photos to attract a match.
Do…
Smile: You are more approachable if you’re smiling and friendly
Have good lighting: Opt for bright, warm, indirect light, and make sure there aren’t harsh shadows.
Practice your selfie: Don’t include a selfie unless you’ve practiced hundreds of them. You should only put a selfie on your profile if you’re very familiar with how to take a good one
Pay attention to your background: A messy kitchen or bedroom is a turnoff. As is a pile of garbage behind you on the street.
Don’t…
Crop people out: It looks like you’re hiding something, and distorts the quality of the photo
Have large group photos: Your social shot should only have 1-3 other people in it so you don’t get lost
Don’t block your face: Only one photo maximum wearing sunglasses or a hat
Don’t have misleading photos: Dogs that aren’t your dog; babies that aren’t your baby; people who look like they could be your significant other
Shop it: The Art of Online Dating by Alyssa Dineen
WARNING SIGNS:
When you meet someone IRL, you are able to spot red flags a little easier than when connecting online, but there are things to look for, according to the author.
‘One or two photos could mean the person is either a scammer, married, or disinterested in online dating,’ she revealed.
‘Someone with too many photos that are heavily filtered, blurry or covering too much of their face, can mean they don’t want someone seeing what they actually look like. And no matter what the reason, it’s not a good thing.
‘If a potential suitor looks different in every photo— and it looks like they used photos spanning the last 20 years— you should absolutely ask them which is the most accurate photo of what they look like now. They should know they’re not fooling anyone.’
‘Contrary to popular belief, online daters do read bios,’ shared Alyssa. They may not be as important as photos, but a bio can make or break your profile
You should communicate just enough to establish a connection and then make a date to meet in person as soon as possible,’ reveals the dating coach
CREATE AN ATTRACTIVE BIO:
‘Contrary to popular belief, online daters do read bios,’ shared Alyssa.
They may not be as important as photos, but a bio can make or break your profile.
‘People read the same things over and over while swiping. You want yours to stand out as much as possible, so make sure you’re telling the most unique things about yourself.’
MASTER BACK AND FORTH BANTER:
‘You should communicate just enough to establish a connection and then make a date to meet in person as soon as possible,’ revealed the dating coach.
‘Otherwise, you create a fantasy idea of this person and when you do finally meet, it’s inevitably a let down from the fantasy.’
During this stage, go ahead and utilize the app’s virtual capabilities.
‘It’s not as good as meeting in person, but you can vet some people by speaking on video.’
‘Most of the apps have a video option right from the app so you don’t need to give out your number or email.’
The expert recommends waiting until after you’ve met on video or in-person before giving out your phone number.
During the early stages of connecting, use the app’s virtual capabilities to vet people out
‘You should never talk about your ex, your divorce, or your health and medical problems on a first date,’ shared Alyssa
FIRST DATE TOPICS:
‘You should never talk about your ex, your divorce, or your health and medical problems on a first date.
‘Save those for when you get to know each other better. However, you should reveal whether or not you’re vaccinated, if you’re looking for a relationship, have kids, of are planning on moving out of the area soon.’
BEST APPS:
‘Apps come in and out of popularity but then many have a comeback along the way. It’s more important that you choose an app that is appropriate for your locale and that you feel comfortable using.
‘The swiping apps are definitely more active and you’ll get quicker responses from matches,’ she said.
While Alyssa doesn’t have a favorite, she is partial to Tinder – where she met her partner of 5 years.
PARTNERSHIPS POST-PANDEMIC
‘Since Covid, I find more and more people are looking for long-term partners and meaningful relationships which is one positive thing that came out of the pandemic,’ revealed the dating coach.
‘The online daters who meet someone meaningful online put a lot of effort into their profile, messaging and making IRL dates.
‘It’s so important to keep an open mind and try not to get too stuck on your “type.” If you get too bogged down with checking all of your boxes, you could be missing out on someone amazing who is just right for you.’
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