Single career woman divides opinion by insisting the ‘best way for women to be financially comfortable is STILL through marriage’ – after being surrounded by wives with ‘easier lives’
- A woman has stated that women are only financially comfortable if married
- On UK-based forum Mumsnet she said women benefit from men’s larger salaries
- Responses were torn but many accused her of making ‘massive generalisations’
A woman has provoked debate after stating that ‘the best or most common way’ for women to be financially comfortable or create wealth is still through marriage and the merging of assets with a man.
Writing on British parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman explained her frustration that she had worked hard for 30 years to be independent, like ‘the teachers at school told us girls to be,’ and yet believes that women who didn’t further their education seem and got married seem to be far better off.
She said: ‘It’s not just about the merging together of two salaries, but about how much easier financial life is when you have the benefit of a man’s higher average income.’
Responses were somewhat divided, with many people sharing their own personal situations and others accusing her of ‘generalisations.’
A woman has provoked debate after stating that ‘the best or most common way’ for women to be financially comfortable or create wealth is still through marriage and the merging of assets with a man (stock photo)
Writing on British parenting forum Mumsnet , the woman explained her frustration that she had worked hard for 30 years to be independent and yet believes that women who are married and didn’t further their education seem to be far better off
The woman said: ‘I’ve been single most of my adult life, worked full time and built up a good career but despite this… I’m always struck how much better off women who are married are than me.’
She asked people to consider: ‘The many women I work with on low salaries or working part-time who are living much nicer lifestyles than I as they have a man significantly supplementing them.’
She concluded: ‘I understand: all the constraints on women to generate their own income especially the gender pay gap and the impact of childrearing; that the above scenarios don’t apply to all couples; that I’m assuming a heterosexual set up; that women contribute within marriages in other way than bringing in income; and that assets in a marriage are shared as is any income that comes into a marriage.
‘I know people might think I’m being anti-women for challenging women’s choices or women’s rights or just plain bitter…
‘[But] is it not depressing that the best or most common way for women to be financially comfortable or create wealth is still through marriage and the merging of assets with a man?’
Responses were somewhat divided, with many people sharing their own personal situations and others accusing her of ‘generalisations.’
One user said: ‘Your proposition is full of holes. You’ve been extremely selective.’
Whilst another commented: ‘You’ve made huge generalisations. Most of women I know who are single and in their late 40s/50s have a great standard of living. They’ve worked hard, not had children and had fantastic careers without a break from children.’
A third posted: ‘Massive generalisations here. I’m the higher earner in my marriage. We are a team and have gone through highs and lows together as a team. Marriage takes work.
‘And if we look on the flip side, there are numerous posts here every single day of women who are left vulnerable by not working or working part time in marriages because if they feel trapped or have an abusive husband, they massively struggle with getting out.
‘Single parenting as its difficulties. Parenting with your spouse has its difficulties. Not having children and focusing on a career has its difficulties. It’s not a competition. Things are just different.’
Others however, agreed with one user saying: ‘Yes, it is amazing that even now, in 2022, so many millions of women earn less than men.’
Others however, agreed with one user saying: ‘Yes, it is amazing that even now, in 2022, so many millions of women earn less than men.’
Someone else posted: ‘Yes, the sexism that is the pay inequality is something that we should all be angry about.’
A third women said: ‘It’s true. I got married and now only have to make a bit of money as my husband works for the main wage.
‘In my experience men enjoy this. As society grows out in-built natures grow less quickly.
‘I could go out and have a career but instead I’m happy to have lots more free time, get up later, enjoy projects alongside work. It really is a dram. The family unit is a dream.’
Some users questioned what her point was and one said: ‘Two incomes will always make things more comfortable that one’
Someone else pointed out: ‘Two incomes will always make things more comfortable than one.
‘Not all men are high earners. Not all women earn the lower of the two household salaries.’
Another commenter questioned: ‘I’m still not entirely sure your point is.
‘There are millions of men on low wages. You’re just picking out your friends who have married men who earn well.
‘Also, nothing is free. A lot of these women you mention will feel trapped in their marriages. I’d rather my freedom.’
A handful of commenters used their own experiences to highlight that women can be the main wage earners in a partnership, saying: ‘I know very few women who are financially dependent on anyone other than themselves, and that includes women on low incomes’
Other people used their own experiences to highlight their problems with this argument.
One user posted: ‘You’ve also forgotten that the best or most common way for men to be financially comfortable and professionally successful is still through marriage? A woman at home can enable a man to be able to go on business trips or work hours much longer than nurseries can provide.’
A second person said: ‘I out earn my husband and brought a property our marriage, he did not.
‘I know very few women who are financially dependent on anyone other than themselves, and that includes women on low income (possible even more so in this bracket as they know they can only truly rely on themselves), but I guess it depends on who you choose to socialise with, I obviously surround myself with very independent women.’
Others took a more balanced approach, pointing out that two incomes are better than one and that everyone’s situation is different. One user commented: ‘I know rich single people and poorer single people, married couples who do well and those who struggle’
Someone else pointed out: ‘It’s more to do with running one household instead of two. The daily standing charge for gas, for example, has only to be paid once if you live together. Sadly, this is the main reason people are so keen to live together these days.’
Another commented: ‘It works both ways because it’s the two adults in a single household that brings the most benefit. So men benefit financially from marriage too, not only if their wife also earns but also if she’s providing childcare etc.
‘However, what’s also evident is that men still earn more than women so if you hook up with a man then you are effectively mitigating the gender pay gap.’
A third posted: ‘Statistically any two people who live together probably have more wealth be that man and woman or two men etc.
‘Two salaries will also be better than one in most cases. I know rich single people and poorer single people, married couples who do well and those who struggle. There are more heterosexual couples though.’
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