I told my husband I was pregnant and he said co-worker is expecting his baby too | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: EXCITEDLY babbling that I was finally pregnant, I knew from my husband’s muted reaction some-thing wasn’t right.

We had been trying for nearly nine months. So when he went white as a sheet, then went out for a walk, I began worrying.

Sure enough, when he came home he said he had something to tell me.

He had got a co-worker pregnant and she was six months ahead of me.

It felt like someone had hit me in the stomach. He kept talking — something about how he wanted to be honest with me.

I am 28, he is 27 and this other woman is 26.

I went from feeling overjoyed I was pregnant, to not wanting a baby at all. I went into a real decline and lost a lot of weight.

My friends were worried but I couldn’t tell anyone the truth, so blamed morning sickness.

My husband had got together with this woman on a work night out.

He told me he was really drunk and could hardly recall what happened.

She doesn’t want him to have anything to do with the baby. They still work together but she has moved departments.

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He says they are civil at work but avoid each other.

Both his children are now born and he hasn’t visited the other child — a baby girl — although he does have two photos of her.

I know he is full of regret but I still feel so low. At least when I was pregnant I had work to keep myself busy but now I am on maternity leave with a three-month-old son, and I feel so lonely and can’t forgive him.

I am full of self-loathing and think I must be unattractive for him to have cheated on me.

I don’t want to split up and co-parent. So how do I get through this?

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DEIDRE SAYS: How awful, and at a time of great vulnerability when you needed your partner’s support.

You obviously have a strong bond with your partner as neither of you have walked away.

But you do both seem to have reached a stalemate and unless you start talking to him and telling how you feel, things are not going to improve.

It is never good for a child growing up with two unhappy parents, but your son is young and you can turn this around.

It is good your partner regrets his actions. Tell him how low you feel and that you need more reassurance to help rebuild the trust.

You would both benefit from counselling, together or separately.

You can find support through (tavistockrelationships.org (phone 020 7380 1960).

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

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