DEAR DEIDRE: I WANT to move in with my girlfriend but one of her two sons is blocking us. He’s autistic and has learning difficulties.
She’s 39 and I’m 42. We’ve been dating for over a year. I have custody of my daughter, who’s five, and my girlfriend’s sons are 14 and eight.
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The children have met and get along well.
I’d love to take our relationship to the next level but, when I mentioned it, my girlfriend’s face fell.
Her teen son is set against us all living together.
He’s had a tough time as his dad stopped contact with him a couple of years ago after a disastrous trip to watch their football team together.
Her son couldn’t be consoled after his team lost and her ex said he felt so embarrassed he wouldn’t be seeing the kids again – and stopped all financial support.
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The kid is generally well behaved but I’ve seen him have meltdowns if he doesn’t get his own way.
She says she doesn’t want to upset him.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Many people with autism don’t like upheaval in their routine but taking things gradually may allow for a subtle change.
Stay for long weekends and try to engage with her son, taking an interest in him and what he enjoys.
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Your girlfriend can ask for support from Ambitious About Autism (ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk, 020 8815 5444) and sort out financial support through www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service.
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