DEAR DEIDRE: I JUST can’t stop sending explicit flirty messages and naked selfies to my ex.
I am 34 and due to be married next year.
My fiancé is 36 and we had a baby boy six months ago.
I hadn’t kept in touch with my ex since we left college, but he recently sent a friend request on Facebook.
I was thrilled to hear from him and we began reminiscing.
There was still a spark between us and I enjoyed talking to him again.
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His messages became very flirty, and I couldn’t resist sending similar messages back to him.
He’s 35 and still so good-looking that over the weeks my head has started to feel confused.
I think the old feelings I had for him are returning.
As much as I love my fiancé, I can’t help but think, “What if?”.
I have been thinking about how good our sex life was when we were together and decided to send some risqué photos of myself.
Even though I’d only recently had my baby, I’ve got my pre-pregnancy body back quickly.
My ex begged me to send more — he’s been with his partner for 12 years and they have three children, but he told me my naughty pictures were the only exciting thing in his life. I don’t want to hurt my fiancé, but I don’t know what to do.
I wonder if I should stop messaging my ex. My fiancé doesn’t know what I am up to, although he is becoming suspicious of how much time I spend on my phone.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Please stop flirting with your ex – you know you are playing with fire.
Delete his number before your current partner realises what you are up to.
It will take willpower but going cold turkey is the only way.
You know your fiancé will be devastated if he discovers what you are doing.
He is being betrayed by the one person he should be able to rely on.
Crucially, you have a baby whose welfare must come first.
It may well be the demands of being a new mum that are making you dream of past excitement.
This is a tough stage of life – and not the most romantic – but if your fiancé is a good partner, that is what is likely to lead to long-term happiness for you.
Make sure you make time to enjoy being a couple together.
Organise regular babysitting and read my support pack Torn Between Two Men.
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