Self-employed Shabnam, 43, lives in West Yorkshire with her husband Nadeem, 44, and their four children. Here, she tells her story…
I was busy making TikTok videos with my 10-year-old daughter last month when my 17-year-old son Qais – who is obsessed with politics – came running into the bedroom.
“Mum!” he cried. “Have you seen the news?” The Tory MP Nusrat Ghani had just made claims she was sacked as a minister in 2020 because of her faith.
My initial reaction was not of shock or anger. In fact, I was resigned, because Muslim women like me hear stories like this all too often.
Nusrat Ghani, the Conservative MP for Wealden, claimed that when she asked for an explanation about her sacking, a Government whip told her “Muslimness was raised as an issue” during discussions about the reshuffle, and her status as a “Muslim woman… was making colleagues uncomfortable”.
For me, like many Muslims, it was just another story of discrimination, which starts when a group of people are misunderstood, provoking feelings of fear.
This fear creates barriers between people, which feeds into all types of nasty prejudices.
As a devout, practising Muslim, I pray every morning. I don’t drink, smoke or eat non-halal food, and I’ve stuck to these practises my entire life.
At home, not drinking isn’t a problem, but it can make me feel excluded at work or social events.
“Surely, you can have one sip,” people often say, trying to persuade me to “lighten up”.
But I can’t and won’t, and it’s not because I’m “depressed” or “ignorant” as some people have suggested. It’s because my faith strictly forbids the consumption of toxins.
One huge benefit is how much money I save, enabling me to spend on other things that I love, such as make-up and perfume. But it can feel demoralising when people are unable to accept it.
I think one of the biggest challenges is not being able to try a Big Mac – especially the new Big Chicken Mac that everyone is raving about at the moment. I’ve been tempted to storm into McDonald’s and try one… but I wouldn’t because it’s not halal.
Right to choose
Another rule I follow is modesty, something I often struggle with at the gym. I have spent hundreds of pounds on beautiful tracksuits because I refuse to wear a crop top, but sometimes people stare or roll their eyes.
Someone once said, “Love, take your jumper off, it’s boiling.”
They might have been well-meaning, but for me being “most comfortable” is wearing a jumper.
But that doesn’t stop me from dressing up. I love dresses and long shirts. I think making an effort is really important and I’ve always enjoyed getting dressed up for an important meeting or a night out.
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Perhaps oddly, I don’t have any strong opinions on burkas. But I do believe in a woman’s right to choose, so I find the burka bans in some countries disheartening.
In my opinion, it contradicts the argument being made by the politician. Why should a male politician decide what a woman can and can’t wear?
Equally, I don’t believe a woman should wear a burka because her husband says so.
Having faith
One magical thing my faith did was cure my fear of cats. In fact, it turned me into a fully fledged cat lover!
I wouldn’t even step into a house where a person had a cat until I was told how in Islam, cats are viewed as holy animals and are admired for their cleanliness.
They’re thought to be ritually clean, which is why they’re allowed to enter homes and even mosques, while dogs are banned.
When I learnt this – which wasn’t until adulthood – my fear melted away.
I tragically lost my beautiful sister to coronavirus in September last year. She was only 45 and if it wasn’t for my religion, I don’t know how I’d have made it through the pain.
With Islamic funerals, everything is done so quickly – funeral prayers are recited, food is eaten and the burial takes place all in the space of one day.
But that does not mean the mourning ends. Instead, my faith encourages me to use the time I would spend crying, in prayer instead.
Humans are only on Earth temporarily. Knowing my sister has gone to a better place has given me genuine comfort, support and guidance.
Ultimately, my faith brings me so much more than it denies me, which is why when I hear tales of struggle from young, female, Muslim politicians, I do feel sadness.
Labour MP Zarah Sultana recently gave an emotional speech in Parliament. She said she had been called a “terrorist sympathiser” and was treated like an “enemy” of the country she was born into.
I loathe terrorists just as much as everyone else. In fact, I probably hate them more. I was filled with horror and disgust when I heard about the Manchester bomb attacks. I couldn’t sleep for weeks.
Dismissive, privileged, racist elitists often assume that because I’m a Muslim, I’m not loyal to Britain. This is a lie – and it really hurts me.
I am quintessentially the most British person you will meet. I always say to people there’s no reason why moderate and compassionate politics or religion should preclude healthy, tolerant, open-minded patriotism.
I’m sick of passing the loyalty test and I’m sick of my religion determining my Britishness.
I often ask myself: how many cups of tea do I need to drink? How many British flags do I need to own? And how many times do I need to sing the national anthem before I’m classed as British?
The Conservative Party has long been accused of having anti-Muslim views. An independent inquiry into Islamophobia in the Conservative Party, published in May 2021 and known as The Singh Report, found there were institutional failings in how it handled complaints of anti-Muslim prejudice.
And yet sadly, a YouGov poll for anti-racism charity Hope Not Hate found 40% of Conservative members want to reduce the number of Muslims coming to Britain, nearly half would prefer not to have a Muslim prime minister, 54% believe Islam is a threat to the British way of life, and two-thirds of members believe the far-right conspiracy theory that parts of the UK are under sharia law.
When is anti-Muslimness going to stop rising in this country? I am optimistic that one day my faith will not be held against me, but be seen as an advantage.
I’d just like to be thought of as a happy 43-year-old mum from West Yorkshire – who drives a beautiful red convertible.
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