‘When I was 13, me and my brother were sat at our aunt’s funeral, but the only way we could cope was telling each other jokes,’ recalls Sarah.
‘We sat there crying with laughter while everyone grieved around us.
‘My mum was livid with us. She was so angry. She thought we were being disrespectful, but if we didn’t laugh, we’d cry. Neither of us wanted to do that.
’10 years on, I still deal with tough times through humour and laughter.
‘It’s dark, but it’s the only way I cope.’
Sarah is one of many who turns to humour when life gets tough. When sad and upsetting feelings overwhelm, people like Sarah feel the urge to shed some light on a difficult situation.
When the pandemic hit in 2020, seeking out laughter was what got many of us through an horrendous period.
TikTok, in particular, became not only a place of dances and lip-syncs but of hilarious takes on the world situation.
The videos and sounds of rapper Cardi B shouting ‘CORONAVIRUS’ still remain a viral favourite of that time.
While it felt like the world was burning and out of control, Gen Z, in particular, made sure that humour, no matter how dark, would get them through. They ‘memefied’ moments of the pandemic.
They have now applied the same principle to dealing with the war in Ukraine. From skit videos about army recruitment to prank call outs to Vladimir Putin, Gen Z is at it and laughing again.
However, they face some controversy online from those who believe their approach is insensitive. If Gen Z and others lived in a war zone, the critics say, they would not be joking about it.
So when does humour become unacceptable?
And when the world is unsteady and at war, is laughter ever admissible?
Humour as a coping mechanism
Psychologist Jason O’ Callaghan believes humour is an effective coping mechanism.
‘The unconscious thoughts and feelings must always come out,’ he tells Metro.co.uk.
‘Our internal worries traditionally come via dreams, slip-ups and jokes. So joking about our worries is a socially acceptable way of getting our feelings out into the world.’
Jason notes that while joking about certain situations may help you feel better, others won’t feel the same. Especially when you aren’t living their reality.
‘It’s offensive when you touch on difficult issues to someone who has been affected,’ he explains.
‘For example, someone who has been sexually abused won’t find sexual jokes funny. And the same goes for someone in Ukraine, they will most certainly not find jokes about war funny. That reaction is understandable and correct, and their criticism should be heard and accepted.’
Despite this, with over 1billion users on TikTok alone and most of the world online in some form, avoiding dark humour is impossible.
Psychologist David Morrison says there must be a balance between humour and disrespect.
‘You have to always be aware of the feelings of others,’ he explains. ‘You need to know when you have taken it too far.
‘It’s funny and great to laugh, but you also have to realise people are going through frightening times and a joke won’t help them.
‘If you start to feel guilty for laughing, try to counteract it by helping the situation through a charity or donating clothes and supplies to those in need. Be active.’
Humour as a trauma response
David notes that dark humour is often a natural response to trauma. Gen Z and online users currently making jokes are dealing with horror.
‘Making a joke, turning a bad time into something funny is a tension release,’ he explains. ‘You often see it in clinical practice where a patient has shared a harrowing experience or talked at length about feelings; at the end, they make a little joke. It helps them feel normal and put some happiness back into life.
He continues: ‘From our point of view, as people living far removed from a dangerous situation, we are trying to compute what is happening. We are struggling to know what to do; we can’t go and volunteer on the front line or do something practical.
‘These reactions are coming from a place of natural anxiety and terror that you feel whenever a war kicks off somewhere in the world because the world no longer feels connected.
‘Meanwhile, we are also trauma fatigued from a worldwide pandemic. People’s brains can’t handle much more sadness and despair.’
Humour as communication
Sometimes, turning a negative situation into something humorous is also an individual trying to communicate a feeling. They struggle to talk about it earnestly and believe joking is the only way to share and show they care.
David says to note this if you find yourself getting irritated by a supposed jest.
‘It is a social function,’ he explains. ‘It says to others: “this is something I care about, and I am following affairs, but I don’t know how to say it in the right way”.
‘Humour is so often used as a tool for communication, and this is what is also happening right now, especially with a younger generation who are seeing a conflict play out online.
‘They don’t know how to deal with it. TikTok, memes and other forms of media are how they speak to each other. The same goes for people who don’t react well to terror and fear. Sometimes, it is purely insensitive and should not be allowed. Other times, they are trying to express an emotion.
‘This is how they communicate. It is their language.’
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