Is it mean to ask my teenage daughter £75 a month for bills?

I’ve asked my 18-year-old daughter to pay £75 a month for bills – she has more spare cash than me, but she claims I’m ‘mean’

  • British mother took to Mumsnet for advice on getting her daughter to pay bills 
  • READ MORE: I asked my son to contribute £20 a week to the household 

A woman has divided opinions online after revealing her 18-year-old daughter ‘lashed out’ when asked to contribute more money towards household bills.

The woman took to UK parenting site Mumsnet to seek advice on how best to handle her daughter who she claims has more disposable cash than her.

She said her daughter finished college last year and while on a break, took up work at a well-known supermarket where she earned around £800 a month. 

Her daughter was happy to contribute £50 towards bills, and give her mother access to staff discounts and perks – until she quit her job and joined her boyfriend at a fast food restaurant.

Now stuck paying full price at supermarkets, the mother is struggling financially and wants an extra £25 a month from her daughter, who in turn has branded her request ‘mean and horrible’.

Her post was met with overwhelming support, but a small percentage berated the woman for charging a child for ‘something a parent should do for free’, especially because her daughter is earning less at her new job.

A woman took to UK parenting site Mumsnet to seek advice after being branded ‘mean’ by her daughter who doesn’t want to pay £75 a month towards household bills (stock image) 

Explaining her predicament, the mother wrote: ‘My daughter is 18. She finished college last year and is taking some time to decide what she wants to do, etc.’

‘Since August she’s worked at a well-known supermarket, earning just a bit above minimum wage and about 30 hours a week. Her employer gave her a staff discount card for a family member as well as herself, which was saving me quite a bit on the shopping.’

‘I still charged her £50 a month which I think is reasonable, considering she has been earning around 800 a month. She has more disposable cash than me.’

‘Last week she decided to quit her job. She had a falling out with her manager and quit on the spot, she says she hated it there etc. To be fair it was a stressful environment, but she seemed to be doing okay there until recently.’

A mother asked if she was in the wrong for asking her daughter £25 extra a month towards the household 

Now her daughter has lined up a new job with her boyfriend at a fast food restaurant. 

‘She’s actually going to be earning less there than she was before, and to be honest I think the main reason she quit was because she wanted to work with her boyfriend,’ her mother said. ‘I think it’s a bad idea but she’s an adult she can do what she wants.’

‘I’ve said to her since bills are going up and I won’t have access to the discount anymore I want her to contribute more.

‘I’m asking for £75 a month instead of £50, which is actually less than I would have saved with the discount etc. But even still, she’ll be earning upwards of £500 a month, I get she needs to save but I feel like what I’m asking isn’t unreasonable.’

The majority of commenters sided with the mother and said it was more than fair to expect £75 a month from her daughter 

‘She’s lashed out at me and said that it’s not fair because she’s earning less why should she have to pay more, and that I’m being mean and horrible basically. When she got the job at the supermarket I said that her staff discount would count towards her contribution, but she’s saying that I’m penalising her for switching jobs.’

Since sharing her story, the post has racked up almost 200 comments – with people divided over the mother’s choices.

One said: ‘100% you are being reasonable in charging her £75 a month. If she doesn’t like it then tell her to buy her own food and charge her a proportion of all the other bills.’

Another added: ‘You are not being unreasonable. £75 A MONTH!!!!! I would love her to be able to point to anywhere where she would be able to live for £75 a month. Do not back down. She should still be able to save with that amount.’

A third highlighted their own experience by adding: ‘What a brat. I paid £200 a month nearly 25 years ago.’

However, some said they can’t understand parents charging their children and would rather they saved money for the future 

However, on the other hand a few readers didn’t agree, with one saying: ‘I’ll never understand parents who make their children pay rent, whatever age they are it just seems odd to me. 

‘You should never charge your child for something a parent should do for free.’

‘I agree, I’d rather my kids save their money’ said another in response.

Another said: ‘It depends if you need the money. I don’t charge my daughter any rent as we don’t really need the contribution and I would rather she saved it for her future. 

‘If I did need the money I would charge but I think you are being a bit petty about the discount card thing.’

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