Sometimes your body just wants an orgasm. Fast. It doesn’t matter if you’re having an erotic afternoon or literally about to jump on a Zoom call, the body wants what it wants. And unfortunately, you don’t always have hours to prep yourself for a long, slow, sensual masturbation session.
But even if you don’t have time to commit to the full masturbating experience , that doesn’t mean you have to ditch the orgasm entirely. It just means you need some horny hacks that will rev up your libido quickly.
So, to help, we’ve consulted some experts on what you can do to go from 0 to 100 when time is of the essence. From breathwork to video games, here’s how to quickly get in the mood for a fast session that doesn’t skimp on the sexiness.
1. Look at some super erotic pictures.
I don’t know about you all, but Megan and Kourt’s September Skims campaign lives in my mind rent free. It’s the definition of sexy. The brunettes shared a ton of pics in their undies, including a few where they lounged topless and fed each other cherries. If two very hot women don’t do the job though, perhaps getting a super-soft pair of panties like they’re wearing from Skims will do it instead?
2. Play with your nipples.
Kayla Lords, a sexpert for JackandJillAdult.com, says before you dive into masturbation or penetrative sex, start by focusing on areas other than your genitals.
“Caress your neck, chest, nipples, thighs, and those small erogenous zones that get ignored when you masturbate,” she suggests. Focus on touching yourself in a sensual way, and play with intensity and friction to see what feels good. You might even want to grab a pair of nipple clamps, just to see if they do a lil something for you.
3. Play The Sims.
Yup, The Sims. Like, the game you played all of elementary school and then through COVID-19 while social distancing. Download the underground Wicked Whims modification that will literally leave you breathless. (Just ask this writer.)
4. Watch Netflix.
You don’t just have to watch shows for the storylines. There are a ton of movies and series you can stream full of sexy scenes. And honestly, sometimes the hookups on Netflix are even hotter than the stuff in porn because you’re so emotionally invested in the characters. Peruse the sexiest shows on Netflix and be sure to have a vibrator at the ready.
5. Play a sexy game.
If you’re looking for a fun way to get aroused, try playing a sultry game. There are tons of different options from strip poker to roleplaying adventures. You can even sexify some of the board games collecting dust on your shelf by adding some new rules. Erotic Scrabble, anyone?
6. Take a bath.
Simple, relaxing, and destressing is 101 when it comes to arousal, so if luxe baths are your thing, consider hopping into one before opting for sexy time. Grab a decedent scrub or soak, let the warm water loosen your muscles, and lean in—literally—to the faucet. Whether you actually have sex in the bathroom or hold out for a change in scenery, taking a little bit of ~you time~ will help you get in the mood.
7. Do some sexy yoga.
Tantric yoga that leads to a nine-hour orgasm? Apparently, it’s possible. But even if you don’t go all out with erotic poses, taking the time to do some stretching will get your blood pumping and awaken your body. Light some nice candles, take your time doing some poses, and pay attention to how your body feels with each downward dog.
8. Sext yourself.
Sexting a partner is always fun, but have you ever tried sexting yourself? It’s like living out your own fantasy at your fingertips. Whether you simply hype yourself up or you pretend you’re interacting with a favorite celebrity or fictional character, sending/receiving naughty texts from your own imagination is the ultimate arousal booster.
9. Play *that* song.
You know the one. It’s the song that makes you feel like a literal sexual goddess—whether while you’re masturbating or dancing in the club. And, yeah, it definitely does all sorts of things to your horny radar. So, put it on and let your body move to the beat, suggests Sera Miles, CEO of Pep Love, a phone sex, sexting, and erotic emailing operation. Can’t think of anything? Anything by The Weeknd, Cardi B, or Meg Thee Stallion should do.
10. Compile a stash of erotic stories, audio clips, and/or images that just do it for you.
You’ll want to create a private file on your phone—whether via an app, the Notes tab, or a camera album—compiling a bunch of things that turn you on for moments like this. “Pop in your earbuds and listen to hot sounds while you scroll through words and pictures that do it for you,” suggests Miles. “Add to it whenever the urge organically arrives.”
11. Activate your senses.
Because, fun fact: They’re directly related to your libido. Sex and relationship coach Azaria Menezes suggests you do the following: Eat some aphrodisiacs (like chocolate), set the mood in your room by adjusting the lighting according, turn on some music, swap your sheets to something sensual like silk, and spritz some perfume all over you that turns you on.
12. Focus on breathwork.
“Focusing on your breath is the most direct way to get out of your head and into your body,” says Menezes. She suggests closing your eyes and breathing really deeply and slowly. Try different breathing patterns—like, holding your breath in for three seconds before you exhale—and see what feels best.
13. Create your own sexual fantasy in your mind.
Porn is great, and sometimes even love scenes on Netflix or TV can be even better. But by creating your own sexual fantasy in your mind, “the mental images will quickly get you where you want to be,” says licensed psychologist and certified neurotherapist Catherine Jackson, PsyD.
14. Take a consciously sexy shower.
Use your loofah, sponge, washcloth, and or your fingers to turn yourself on. “You’re already soapy, wet, and slippery, so your fingers will glide over your most sensitive areas even better,” explains Lords. You don’t even have to masturbate just yet (although if you turn yourself on and can’t help it, you do you!), but just focus on touching yourself in a sensitive way.
15. Think yourself into a sexy daydream.
Take a few moments to lie down on in bed, close your eyes, and imagine a sexy, kinky, or erotic fantasy, suggests Lords. If you fall asleep and wind up having a sexy dream, awesome, if not, you’ve still taken the time to indulge yourself in some hot thoughts that can steam up your next self-pleasure session or lead you to a closer understanding of what you wanna try next in bed.
16. Try out some CBD arousal products.
While some CBD arousal oils can compromise the integrity of latex barriers like condoms, if you’re by yourself simply trying to get turned on, you don’t have to worry about that, explains Megan Stubbs, sexologist. “Many people have reported heightened arousal, wetness, and orgasm intensity” from using CBD products, adds Stubbs. Try some out for yourself and see if it makes a difference.
17. Re-read your past sexts.
“Sexting is a gift that keeps on giving,” explains Marion Chloe Theis, a French love coach. “It’s good in the moment AND you can always re-read through the hot messages you exchanged afterward,” she explains. Sure, you might not actually be with the person you originally sexted, but the steamy fantasies are yours to relive as long as you like.
18. Turn on your self-timer and do a boudoir shoot for yourself.
“There’s something special about the act of taking photos,” says Sadie Allison, PhD, and founder of GoLove CBD. Taking photos allows you to celebrate your body and simultaneously see yourself as the coveted object of desire you are, she adds.
Put on your favorite sexy silk nightgown, fancy lingerie, or go buff, and use your self-timer to take some hot photos of yourself just for your own use. Knowing they’re just for yourself can also make you less self-conscious about the whole thing and posing and contorting your body for your own gaze can make you feel hella hot and empowered.
19. Watch *that* Ferris-wheel scene from Insecure.
Look, don’t act like you don’t already know. It’s the middle of season 2, and Issa (Issa Rae) is stuck in a Ferris wheel carousel at Coachella with Nathan (Kendrick Sampson) when the two realize they’re totally alone, and, well, let’s just say that things ensue.
20. Get undressed in front of a mirror.
What’s sexier than you? Literally nothing! Remind yourself how ~hot~ you are and turn yourself on, in the most au naturel way imaginable.
21. Or literally just put on some lingerie.
According to a very official(ish) Cosmo poll, most of you like lounging around in your lingerie when you’re alone anyway. Put on your laciest, strappiest, sexiest piece and the rest will come (literally).
22. Browse for new sex toys.
Sometimes just looking at new ways to get yourself off can be a horn-inducing activity on its own. Pro tip: The reviews are where all the really hot and juicy stuff is.
23. Watch the middle 40 minutes of Magic Mike.
Because, um, that’s when most of the naked grinding happens. You’re welcome.
24. Watch Beyoncé’s “Partition” video.
St0p playing innocent and just do it. You know it works.
25. Listen to audio-only porn.
People submit audio files of themselves masturbating and having sex, and you can do with that what you will. If nothing else, it’s totally bizarre and great. Also, you can listen to it on your headphones at work. No judgment.
26. Or listen to this masturbation playlist.
Just let the music wash over you like liquid horniness.
27. Browse a NSFW subreddit.
Reddit has a bad reputation for being a cesspool of misogynistic garbage, but there are also a lot of nice, sex-friendly, and very sexy subreddits that are perfect fodder for getting horny in a matter of minutes.
28. Watch some sexy, foreplay-focused feminist porn.
Erika Lust is a total badass who makes feminist porn, aka porn in which women are the focus, and they actually look like they’re getting turned on and getting off. Some of her videos are subscription-based, but some are free as well. Highly recommend.
29. Take a hot shower and then walk around naked like you’re criminally hot…because you are.
You’re already naked and you look super dope, plus there’s water. Use really great-smelling bath stuffs, put lotion on every single part of your body afterward, and just be with yourself. No texting, no distractions. Just sit with yourself in your awesome body and be present in it.
30. Take a crash course on pleasure.
All the content on OMGyes, a scientist-backed site that delivers deep dives on female pleasure, is centered around teaching everyone more about orgasms. But if you thought science couldn’t be sexy, you thought wrong. Peruse OMGyes’s demonstration videos to learn more about your own bod and get horny while you’re at it.
31. Read an erotic story.
Even if you feel like that’s not something you’d be into, sites like Kara’s Porn for Women, Nifty, and Alt.Sex.Stories let you use popular search terms to try and figure out what you might like. One of the search terms is “hunks,” so if you’re into hunks, you’re welcome.
32. Dance in your room alone.
Doesn’t even have to be anything particularly sexy. I’m not saying you should put on The Muppet Movie soundtrack, but it can be whatever you feel like at the moment. The more you move your body and feel really good about it, the easier it’ll be to want to move your body in, uh, other ways.
33. Watch videos of your favorite celebrity doing interviews.
I know most people would say to look up photos of him shirtless, but I’m trying to get your mind working with your body here, and actually watching the way he moves and speaks can make it easier to imagine him doing other things. #ChrisEvans #ChrisEvansForever
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