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Lily Collins is recalling a toxic relationship where her ex-boyfriend allegedly belittled her and called her a “whore.”
“For me, my romantic toxic relationship was verbal and emotional abuse and being made to feel very small,” the actress, 33, shared on Wednesday’s episode of the “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast.
She continued, “He would call me ‘Little Lily’…and he’d use awful words about me in terms of what I was wearing and would call me a whore and all these things.”
The “Emily in Paris” star alleged that her ex’s toxic behavior silenced her and even fueled feelings of “panic” and “anxiety.”
“There were awful words and then there were belittling words,” she recalled. “I became quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe.”
Collins also said on the podcast that even though she is now in a healthy relationship with her husband, Charlie McDowell, some things still trigger her.
“The situations are completely different 10 years ago to now. That panic is what I can still get triggered by,” she explained. “Even if I’m in the most healthy relationship, there can be a moment that happens throughout the day where history comes back like that.”
She continued, “It’s like a millisecond, or shorter than a millisecond, and your gut reacts, your heart starts beating, and all of a sudden you’re taken back to that moment where they said that thing to you 10 years ago, but you’re not in that situation now and that’s the trigger and it’s f–king hard. it’s awful.”
The Netflix star also referenced an aspect of evolution that her therapist taught her.
Collins and McDowell, 39, tied the knot in September 2021, nearly a year after getting engaged.
“What started as a fairytale, is now my forever reality. I’ll never be able to properly describe how otherworldly this past weekend was, but magical is a pretty good place to start…” the actress wrote on Instagram after their nuptials. “I’ve never wanted to be someone’s someone more than I do yours, and now I get to be your wife.”
The film director is the son of Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen, and his stepfather is Ted Danson. Meanwhile, the actress is the daughter of musician Phil Collins and Jill Tavelman.
While Lily didn’t share the identity of her toxic ex, she’s previously been romantically linked to a slew of famous men including Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, Chris Evans and Nick Jonas.
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