Last night, chaos erupted in the Love Island villa after the contestants saw what really went down in Casa Amor in the most explosive movie night yet.
Although some islanders had come clean about their antics, movie night revealed much more.
While Samie new that Tom had kissed Lydia, she was left wondering whether she’d been foolish to give him a second chance after she saw him laying it on thick with her and cuddling her in bed.
‘That was so much [worse] than I thought,’ Samie said in horror.
The issue the Samie and the other Islanders has was that their partners ‘played down’ what really happened, making them wonder whether they were too quick to forgive.
But, when it comes to working through cheating, is it always necessary to share every last detail?
The real answer is that it depends.
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‘Sometimes context is important to help the cheated on person make sense of their partner’s mindset and reasoning,’ clinical psychologist Gemma Harris tells Metro.co.uk.
This helps the cheated on person with ‘risk assessing the situation and the likelihood of recurrence,’ she adds.
Essentially, having all the facts can help someone make the most well-informed decision about whether they want to continue with the relationship.
Plus, it can help to stop more hurt down the line – if details do surface, as they did in the villa, it’s likely they’ll feel even more betrayed down the line.
That being said, says Gemma, it is important to err on the side of caution when deciding how much information is needed, especially if you’ve both decided to work through it.
‘A lot of detail can be too upsetting and counterproductive if the couple’s plan is to repair,’ she says.
According to sex and relationship therapist Cate Mackenzie, context is important when coming clean to your partner, but you have to make sure you’re doing so for the right reasons.
If it’s just to get it off your chest and alleviate some guilt, for example, it’s not fair.
However, if it’s because you genuinely want to work through things, being open and honest can create space for growth in the relationship.
But that doesn’t mean you need to provide detailed descriptions of every single act and how they felt. Instead, just let them know what happened in the most neutral way possible.
‘Your partner will have these images over and over in their head after you tell them,’ she says. ‘So you want to be mindful of how to share in a way not to create too much trauma.’
At the end of the day, the truth hurts, but having the full story is the only way to give someone a real chance of making the best decision for them.
Telling the full truth in a compassionate way can make sure both partners can restart the relationship on equal footing.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
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