Former TOWIE star Frankie Essex gave birth to her twins, whom she shares with boyfriend Luke Love, last May and has since shared updates while settling into life with babies Logan and Luella.
In her exclusive column for OK!, Frankie has discussed a range of topics related to motherhood – from her first social outing with the twins and a blackout at her home when they were just a few days old, to “feeling more human again” as the babies dropped their dreaded 2am feed.
This week, Frankie talks about their plans to celebrate the twins' first birthday, and opened up about her anxiety as she advised new mums to "relax"…
It’s the twins’ birthday party this weekend!
It’s the babies’ birthday party today and I keep on getting emotional. I’ve been watching loads and loads of videos last night and I’ve made a little special video for their first birthday. It’s not finished yet though as I want to get some pictures from their actual party. They’ve changed so much!
We’re doing a Beatrix Potter theme with Peter Rabbit and Flopsy Bunny. So it’s all around that, as well as Logan and Luella’s outfits. They’re wearing a minty green colour. I didn’t just want pink and blue as it would look like a baby shower. I have to be different. I can’t be the same as everyone else. I’ve got the same theme going through their playroom that I’m doing up for their birthday as well.
All of the twins’ cousins are coming down – we’ve got a lot of family and friends coming. We’re going to have a nice time as well and have a little drink. I just want to enjoy the day. I’m really looking forward to it.
Amy Childs is coming with her twins, and Lauren Goodger is too. Cara Kilbey is also coming along. It’ll be nice to get everyone together.
Anxiety can take over as a mum
I found the first bit of motherhood really hard. I let my anxiety take over, but I really didn’t know what I was doing. Obviously I winged it and did the best I could. Luke would just Google things all the time!
I remember lying upstairs and crying when they were really little. I felt so panicky. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t sleep. I don’t know what came over me. But, now I think about it, if I could do it all again I’d know the babies are alright. It was a really awful and scary time. There was a lot of emotion.
If I could give any advice to new mums, I’d say to just relax and breathe. Honestly, I’d get myself into such a pickle sometimes. It didn’t help that we were told that we could lose one of the twins because of vanishing twin syndrome while I was pregnant. That made my anxiety a bit worse for me.
The twins are at my favourite age
I was saying to Luke the other day that Logan and Luella are at my favourite age because they’re so interactive. I got this really cute video of them laughing and it’s so lovely now they’re communicating and stuff. These are my favourite stages now I think. I’m really enjoying them.
I really urge other parents to get life insurance
I got life insurance yesterday so that me and the twins are insured. My friend did it and told me about it, and it costs about £11 a month. I was going to wait to do it, but then I thought to myself… I’m about to go on the motorway in the car with both my babies, so I did it there and then. We’re going away this summer as well and the insurance covers other countries. It’s really good and I’m pleased I did it.
At the end of the day, my parents had life insurance and my mum took her own life. My dad was left with a big mortgage to pay as we’d only been in the house for 3 years. My dad had to stop working and because of the life insurance, he could pay off the mortgage. You never know what’s going to happen. It’s horrible to think about, but it’s reality.
I’m proud of myself with how I’ve done as a mum
I’m so proud of myself, and I’m so proud and so happy that the twins are okay. They’re just such happy babies. They’re so chilled, so we’ve done something right.
Come back next week to hear more about Frankie's motherhood journey.
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