DEAR DEIDRE: SURELY I don’t have to come clean to my husband about cheating on him a decade ago?

I’m 39 and my husband is 41. We’ve been together for 16 years and have three children.

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Ten years ago, I left work to be a stay-at-home mum.

My husband always seemed to be away at work. I felt lonely and had a fling with a neighbour.

It didn’t mean anything and was over in a couple of months. I have never cheated since.

Our marriage got stronger over time and I realised I love my husband.

Last week, his best friend announced that his wife had cheated on him.

Since then, my husband has started asking me – jokingly, I think – if I’m having an affair.

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But he keeps going on about it and it doesn’t seem like a joke any more.

I don’t want to have to tell him what I did. It would rip my family apart.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve little to gain by telling your husband about a historical mistake.

Though I tend to say that honesty is the best policy, sometimes telling the truth will only cause unnecessary pain.

Be firm and tell him you are not having an affair. Also explain that you are feeling unsettled by his persistent line of questioning.

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You are not lying if you say you are not having an affair now.

Move on and enjoy your life together.

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