DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner has had so many affairs that his own daughter snitched on him.
We’ve been together for 12 years and I really thought we had the perfect set up.
I am 53 and he is 59 and we both live in our separate homes.
But every Friday night he comes to stay with me until Monday morning.
I thought our arrangement worked well — neither of us were bored and we both had our own space, little did I know that he was actually entertaining other women most weeks in his own home.
I don’t think I ever would have found out except that his latest fling wound up his daughter by overstaying her welcome.
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My partner’s daughter is 33 and had moved back in with her dad after her marriage broke down.
But she had her nose put out because my partner’s latest fling would stay all weekend even when he wasn’t there and had ‘started to act like she owned the place’.
I’ve always got on well with my partner’s daughter but I’m under no illusions — she has only told me because she wants this other woman out.
When I confronted my partner he wasn’t apologetic at all.
He simply said that these women didn’t mean anything but a ‘little fun’ and I need to be realistic.
He even had the audacity to suggest that as we didn’t live together we weren’t fully committed.
After 12 years of thinking I could trust him, I feel absolutely gutted.
He seems to think that I should forgive and forget and just let him come back.
If only it was that simple.
I’ve told him I will never take him back, but he keeps appearing at my door and just doesn’t listen when I tell him.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Keep that door firmly shut if that’s what you want. He must accept your decision.
He is blaming you to deflect attention away from his own behaviour.
He hasn’t shown one ounce of remorse.
Don’t let him try to worm his way back into your life if your mind’s made up.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you to take a firm line with him should he reappear.
He will get the message eventually, but if he continues to try to control the situation, you may have to warn him that you will go to the police.
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