DEAR DEIDRE: NOTHING in my life has escaped my son’s vindictiveness – from the furniture in my home and the flower beds outside to my car.

I am his 75-year-old dad. My son is 42 and married. His wife is 40 and they have two boys, aged ten and eight.

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My son has abused me for years. I talked to my doctor about what was happening but it later turned out my son had already spoken to him and told him I was imagining things.

I feel totally unsupported by everyone. Even my brother has dismissed the abuse as an overreaction.

To everyone else, my son is pleasant and easy-going. They don’t know him the way I do.

I have had thoughts about moving away but all my friends and my life is here.

It is a daunting prospect to consider setting up somewhere new.

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DEIDRE SAYS: This is appalling abuse but do not let your son drive you away.

Your safety is paramount, so if it happens again, remove yourself from the situation or call for help.

If he becomes violent, you may have to consider calling the police.

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This is really tough love but it is necessary because you cannot go on as things are.

Find support through Hourglass (wearehourglass.org, 0808 808 8141).

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