DEAR DEIDRE: PEOPLE are saying that my brother is a cradle snatcher.
I feel he’s playing with fire and I’m so worried for him.
He’s got into a relationship with a much younger girl but says they are just friends.
She is 17 and he is 24. They met two months ago in a cafe and they got chatting.
I’m his younger brother, aged 22, and I wouldn’t dream of touching a girl who wasn’t at least 18.
Two months on from their meeting, she is now talking to my brother every single night for hours.
Sometimes she goes round to his flat after college.
I’ve seen them together and it’s clear she’s developed feelings for him.
She looks at him with puppy-dog eyes and hangs on his every word.
He says he’s just being a friend and supporting her because she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to.
She comes from a tough family who are regularly in trouble with the police.
My brother is a very kind guy, and sometimes a bit naive. He’s never really had a girlfriend.
When I said I didn’t believe that nothing physical had happened between them, he said that even if it does, it’s OK because she is over the age of consent.
He pointed out that our parents have a big age gap, which is true, but they met when Mum was in her mid-20s, not when she was a teen.
There’s a lot of gossip where I live and people have seen them hanging around together and remarked on it.
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I’ve heard the word “paedophile” mentioned.
I’m terrified someone will want to hurt him.
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DEIDRE SAYS: People are now right-fully very sensitive about relationships with big age gaps, especially where a teenager is involved.
However, even if your brother is having sex with this girl – which he denies – she is over the age of consent.
He is not a paedophile and would not be prosecuted unless he has groomed her or has authority over her.
But she’s at college, while he is a grown man with his own flat. This isn’t an equal relationship.
I’m concerned that she may be vulnerable, especially as she comes from a seemingly troubled home.
Talk to your brother and explain your concerns.
If he genuinely wants to help her, getting into a romantic relationship isn’t the way to do it.
Encourage him to find friends his own age and show him my pack, Widening Your Social Scene.
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Tell him that if either of them need support, they should contact The Mix (themix.org.uk, 0808 808 4994, a free confidential helpline for young people).
He could also speak to the NSPCC (nspcc.org.uk, 0808 800 5000).
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