‘I’ve found myself feeling uncomfortable when asking friends for money back,’ says Danny Andrew, an 18-year-old student in Lancaster.
‘It’s definitely awkward when you lend money at a meal out to someone, and then ask for it back – I do it so I can stick to my monthly budget.
‘I’ve noticed with friends that many are unaware of how to budget, which is what tends to lead to the tricky financial conversations.’
Confidence when talking about money can come with age, and when you’re living on low salaries or student loans, it can make the conversation even more uncomfortable.
Research by Monzo shared exclusively with Metro.co.uk found that young people can often feel uneasy when money is discussed – and 45% of Brits aged 18-34 say the cost of living crisis has made them even less likely to talk about their finances openly.
The old-age attitude of money being a ‘private matter’ is pervasive, as 33% won’t talk about money due to this.
But for the rest of those polled, it came down to finding it hard to bring up the topic and struggling to know what to say, as well as 28% feeling ‘guilty’ around the subject.
Unsurprisingly, 61% feel being closed off is costing them both financially and mentally. As a result, respondents often felt awkward navigating money in social situations.
Over a third say they’ve been forced to split a bill unfairly at a restaurant, and 45% have made an excuse not to do something with their mates, when the real reason is financial difficulties – leading to feelings of embarrassment, anxiety, and even shame.
Danny finds using Monzo’s splitting feature helpful for navigating this, as it removes the need for conversation.
Sujata Bhatia, Monzo’s chief operating officer, says: ‘Our findings show that money really is the last taboo in everyday social interactions – with young people even shying away from talking to their nearest and dearest about the topic.’
Want to get better at talking about money with your mates? Psychologist Ali Ross to shares his top tips for broaching the topic.
Money meditations
It’s time to get reflective. Ali says: ‘As simple as this first one is, it is fundamental…if money conversations make you feel embarrassed, ask yourself why.
‘The more you know about your hang-ups with money, the more empowered you will be to overcome them.
‘Therapy can certainly help with this, but in the absence of talking to a professional, think of times in your life you have felt embarrassed or ashamed about money, and try to unpack why you felt that way specifically.’
Approach money talks sensitively
Money is a stressor for so many, so it’s important to understand this when raising it with people.
Ali says: ‘Raising something as simple as how to split the bill at the end of a night can make people feel stressed, bossed around, and detract from the romance of a night if you’re on a date.
‘One way to navigate tricky conversations is to let your digital bank do the talking for you.
‘Using features like bill-splitting shifts the focus and pressure away from you, or anyone else taking the lead.’
Failing that, use language at doesn’t sound accusatory and talk from a place of how you feel.
Be upfront when going out
Ali says: ‘When you go out or away with friends, be upfront as early as possible about how you’re handling money.
‘Is everyone going to pay their way, or will someone manage the costs and we settle up at the end?
‘Whatever you decide, if it’s been agreed beforehand, you will feel more at ease knowing your needs have been communicated clearly, and you’re all on the same page (in theory).’
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