The guest list for your wedding is 100% your own prerogative, but that doesn’t mean your loved ones won’t have their two cents on who’s invited.
For example, this woman’s family is in turmoil over her decision to exclude children from her big day, with her own parents now threatening to boycott the event.
On Reddit, the 32-year-old shared that she and her fiancée are due to get married in three months’ time.
They’ve chosen to have a childfree celebration, both because they plan on ‘drinking, partying, and other stuff [they] personally wouldn’t want kids to be around,’ and due to issues they’ve had as a couple around fertility.
‘We’ve had struggles trying to have children of our own, and I recently had a miscarriage in February,’ said the woman, who added that the experience of losing the baby was ‘devastating’.
She went on to explain that her brother, 35, is a single dad to two daughters aged two and three, and she ‘couldn’t be any happier to be their aunt.’
Yet although she and her brother ‘have always been close’ and he comforted her after her miscarriage, she said: ‘The sight of my nieces shattered me even more, so I asked him to not bring them around me for a while.’
The woman’s brother didn’t respond well to this and distanced himself from his sibling, a situation that was exacerbated further when her wedding invitations-which stated in bold, ‘no kids’ – were sent out.
While some family members accepted the decision, it didn’t go down well with everyone.
The bride-to-be said: ‘[My brother] sent me a text stating, “Wouldn’t your nieces make great flower girls, going to buy dresses now.” I replied saying, “No need, they cannot come inside my wedding, no hard feelings.”
‘He then said, “It shouldn’t apply to them, they are family, what colour should they get, blue or silver?” so I then replied, “None, if you feel like you cannot be separated from your children for a couple of hours then you cannot come to my wedding, my rules are clear and final on the invitation.”‘
After the heated exchange, the woman blocked her brother (who was supposed to be a groomsman at the wedding) prompting ‘nonstop’ calls and texts from those close to them, begging the pair to resolve the situation.
‘My own parents have stated that until my nieces and brother are allowed at my wedding, they will not be there,’ she added.
Opinions on the situation were mixed, with some feeling the woman was right to stand her ground and others arguing that she approached it poorly.
One Redditor said: ‘You get to choose your priorities and boundaries, but you don’t get to choose how others react. Your relationship with your brother may be irreparable, and you might really regret that if you do have children in the future who never get to know their cousins.’
‘You’re very loudly and clearly saying that your wedding means more to you than a relationship with your brother and your nieces,’ commented another. ‘You may not feel like that, but it is the perception on their end and therefore it is the result.’
A third added: ‘You are well within your rights to have a “no kids” policy, but I think the way this was handled will lead to an unfortunate and irrevocable rift if you don’t try to reestablish a relationship with your brother.
‘It sounds like before this you had a good relationship. Don’t let this be the reason you aren’t close anymore.’
Some also suggested she seek therapy for her trauma around seeing children, while others claimed her brother’ had been ‘pushy’ in assuming his daughters would be flower girls.
One comment read: ‘Her brother seemed to take not having his daughters around her after the miscarriage very personally when she just didn’t want to see a reminder of what she lost.
‘It’s not like she never wanted to see them again she just needed time. He decided to remove himself completely.’
‘What is it with people constantly thinking their kids need to be at people’s weddings?’ wrote another user. ‘It’s mind boggling to me that people can’t leave their kids for half a day to go enjoy an adult event.
One more chimed in: ‘The entitlement… this day is about you and your husband, not his kids.’
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