We’ve all had to deal with nonsense at work.
You’re up against toxic bosses, annoying colleagues who don’t know what they’re doing, and a constant stream of office politics.
That’s all pretty frustrating, it’s true.
But have you ever considered that you could be the problem – or at least be contributing to it?
The truth is that while your job might be rubbish and other people can be the worst, it’s possible that you could be bringing some baggage to the situation, too.
In fact, you could unknowingly be someone else’s annoying colleague, the cause of their frustration, or the reason parts of work aren’t going smoothly.
It’s time to reflect, acknowledge where we might be going wrong, and look out for the signs that we’re not the easiest people to work with – so says workplace expert Salman Raza.
Ahead, Salman shares some key warning signs that you’re tough to work with – along with steps for remedying the issues.
You don’t really listen
Be honest with yourself: do you regularly drift off when someone’s trying to talk to you?
When you’re a rubbish listener, people really do notice. It’s not a good look.
Salman tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Imagine you are having a conversation with a colleague and you find yourself disengaging from the conversation.
‘Maybe you don’t agree with them, and you think their approach is stupid. With this attitude, you’re only half listening, and you are already preparing your response before your colleague has finished.
‘When you do not give colleagues an honest chance to articulate their perspective, you are dismissing them, and this leads to a lack of trust.’
How to fix it:
Salman suggests: ‘If you find yourself disengaging, pause and ask yourself: Are you listening to respond? or Are you listening to understand?
‘If you’re always plotting your response to a conversation instead of taking a moment to reflect on what is being said, then you are listening only to respond.
‘Take time to really listen and understand what is being said. If you develop a response before thoughtfully processing the information, you will not have productive and fruitful conversations.’
You don’t look deeper into your feelings
‘Are you often annoyed, impatient, or frustrated? There may be exterior factors contributing to your emotions such as a toxic work environment, a boss who micromanages, or a colleague who isn’t pulling their weight,’ notes Salman.
‘Whatever the reason, from time to time you need to get to the root of your emotions and address them.
‘Recognising your emotions will not only increase your self-awareness, but also the awareness of others. By being empathetic, authentic, and even vulnerable, you can foster meaningful connections with your colleagues and become an easier person to work alongside.’
How to fix it:
Start keeping track of your emotions – write them down in a journal or even on your phone’s notes app. Identify your feelings and notice what triggered them, so you can start to address the issues.
Make sure that you’re pausing and taking time away when emotions become overwhelming. Respond, don’t react.
Your body language and tone of voice aren’t what you think they are
‘You may be giving out off-putting signals to your colleagues,’ Salman tells us. ‘Do your shoulders tense? Is your brow furrowed? Do you scowl?
‘The entire body is engaged in a communication exchange. You could think you are portraying intrigue and concentration, but your body language and facial expressions are perceived as unapproachable and hostile.
‘Likewise, we’re often not aware of our tone of voice during conversations. You could think you are delivering news or feedback in an even and neutral tone, but in fact you sound annoyed or angry.
‘Sometimes you feel enthusiastic, but that enthusiasm may give the impression of arrogance or even aggression.
‘On the contrary, you may believe you sound confident and assertive, but your voice actually sounds soft and uncertain.
‘Be very mindful of your tone of voice as this can lead to misunderstandings.’
How to fix it:
Ask people you trust for genuine feedback. After an interaction, ask how you came across – and don’t get annoyed or offended if they give you an honest answer.
Once you know where you’re going wrong, you can tweak your tone and body language to be more approachable.
Salman Raza is a management expert and the author of Life’s Non-Conformities: An Auditor’s Tale of Practical Application of Social, Emotional & Behavioral Strategies.
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