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Our tireless beauties are in everything everywhere.
Catherine Zeta-Jones, the psychiatrist on Fox’s “Prodigal Son,” loves working with fellow Welshman Michael Sheen. “I always wanted to co-star with my hometown neighbor from Wales. We’d never met but working with him was on my bucket list.
“I didn’t have 90 minutes of screen time in this. I had seven lines here, eight there, a snippet, look, a reaction. But I’m like Sugar Ray Leonard in the ring. I can always duck and dive. I’ve got too much OCD to do anything where I didn’t know the beginning, middle and end — so this one was different.”
And maybe some bob and weave will get “Prodigal Son” a third season, somewhere.
Nicole Kidman: “Wherever I go people still talk about my Hugh Grant conniving cad husband in ‘The Undoing.’ It became part of universal culture. I was in Australia, Hugh was in London, our producer was in Denmark and this penetrated all those countries. I remember being incredibly nervous wondering ‘Will we find an audience?’ Which is kind of just my general state of being anyway.”
The conniving happened on HBO.
No heroes, just Zero
Noho has a new expensive and seriously high-class private membership club. Name’s Zero Bond. Its address begins with zero, which no other NYC address does. How that happened, who knows. I don’t really care either because this two-floor 20,000-square-foot joint is so classy they wouldn’t even have me as a member. It does privacy, exclusivity and 3.5 thou for membership. So new, so upscale that Mrs. Alec Baldwin, who endures life mostly in the Hamptons, is not only a member but was there with her hairstylist. She sat sipping her drink while said stylist brushed her hair.
Talking animals
Dr. Douglas Palma of East 62nd’s Animal Medical Center and Dr. Brett Shorenstein of West 10th’s Abingdon Square Veterinary Clinic: “There’s no documented case of COVID-19 transmission from an animal to a human but dogs have contracted it … Animals must not wear a mask. Ingesting that can mean surgery … The pandemic has amplified New Yorkers, the world’s most neurotic people. With owners home more, the pets’ habits now become potential behavioral problems. And with separation anxiety both people and dogs are newly more neurotic. Also, waiting for a vet outside means the pet contends with clanging fire engines, screeching ambulances, police sirens, garbage trucks.
“One owner brought in his Guatemalan parakeet. He said Cocarito seizured when they were showering. Who knew people showered with a parakeet? Lately, we’ve had ducks, turtles, rabbits. Even monkeys and a raccoon. Manhattan has people from all walks of life. One brought in a boa constrictor. Difficult because the anatomy’s different between snakes.”
Yeah. Go tell it, “Fetch.”
It’s Splitsville
Oh, big surprise about Bill Gates hunting new highs, or thighs. Aging gents playing house outside their own house — gray divorce, Bezos, Macklowe, Schwarzenegger, it’s the new thing.
Top lawyer: “I’m handling one divorce longer than the actual marriage. They’re fighting over some cockamamie canary. Another screwed-up guy’s 80 and the bank just gave him a 30-year mortgage. Living together without a wedding is trendy. Still, there’s guys marrying a third time. One mailed invitations and is still asking when’s his divorce coming due. Another, married 18 months, is fighting their split three years. Another’s arguing over a table in his son’s future bar mitzvah — and the kid’s only 4. We tell clients it’s cheaper to keep her. Fighting costs more in legal fees than they can possibly get stuck for.”
This lawyer, he himself married? “I’m divorced.”
Crime is now so bad in this town that when you call the cops there’s a three-week waiting list.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
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