DAN WOOTTON: Hands, face, space? More like Handsy, eat face, no space. The insufferable, cheating, ‘effing useless’ Hancock is now a national joke and must go today

He was the man who kept families from hugging each other; who banned first dances at weddings; who warned teenagers the slightest taste of human contact could ‘kill your gran’.

Nobody piously shamed others for breaking Covid-19 regulations more than Matt Hancock.

The slightest breach was letting down a great national effort, the Health Secretary would warn.

It was ‘just not possible in these circumstances’ for the bonking professor Neil Ferguson to do anything other than resign, he scolded during an interview with fellow Covid hypocrite Kay Burley.

Well, that Matt Hancock is a fake, a phoney and a fraud.

Matt Hancock and Gina Coladangelo in a passionate snog inside the Department of Health 

Or, to use the words of his boss the Prime Minister, ‘totally f***ing hopeless’.

As Hancock was enforcing the most inhumane and draconian limits on our interactions by law, he was flagrantly ignoring the social distancing rules to engage in a tawdry extramarital affair.

Normally I wouldn’t give a damn who he was sleeping with. In fact, I wish I’d never had to consider Matt Hancock being intimate at all.

But given Hancock has set himself as the nation’s moral arbiter for these miserable past 15 months, his behaviour is very much in the public interest.

At a time when you would hope his mind was on getting the UK out of a catastrophic pandemic and brutal lockdowns, Hancock was thinking of the latter half of his last name.

In March last year – as tens of thousands died and he botched PPE procurement and establishing a testing programme – Hancock, 42, secretly hired his old university ‘pal’ Gina Coladangelo, 43, as an unpaid adviser for an initial six-month period.

Health Secretary Matt Hancock during a Downing Street press conference last November

It was an odd decision, given the mum-of-three remained the communications director at Oliver Bonas, the lifestyle brand owned by her successful husband.

By September, she was a non-executive director of the Department of Health and Social Care, which saw her paid at least £15,000 of money from the public purse.

A source told the Sunday Times that month: ‘Before Matt does anything big, he’ll speak to Gina. She knows everything. She has access to lots of confidential information.’

Now we know why.

The Sun’s jaw dropping front page this morning revealed the pair are bumping uglies.

Matt Hancock secretly hired his old university ‘pal’ Gina Coladangelo as an unpaid adviser

It comes complete with the most shocking celebrity CCTV pictures since Solange Knowles attacked Jay Z in a lift showing Hancock and Coladangelo in a passionate snog inside the Department of Health.

No masks. No one metre plus rule. No Hands Face Space, which Hancock bangs on about ad nauseam.

In fact, his rules with Coladangelo appear to be: Handsy, Eating Each Other’s Face, No Space.

The footage is from May 6 at 3pm and a whistleblower who used to work at the department told the newspaper: ‘I’m just amazed he was so brazen about it as he was the Secretary of State.

‘It has also shocked people because he put her in such an important, publicly funded role and this is what they get up to in office hours when everyone else is working hard.’

Matt Hancock scolded the bonking professor Neil Ferguson during an interview with fellow Covid hypocrite Kay Burley 

Hancock’s apology this afternoon is pitiful.

In a statement, he said: ‘I accept that I breached the social distancing guidance in these circumstances. I have let people down and am very sorry.

‘I remain focused on working to get the country out of this pandemic, and would be grateful for privacy for my family on this personal matter.’

I’ve got a better idea Mr Hancock. You go and focus on trying to piece together your personal life and leave the business getting the nation out from under Covid to someone else.

Your authority is shot. The next time you attempt to issue an instruction to the British public, the vast majority will laugh in your face.

Unless Boris Johnson tells Matt Hancock to immediately resign, it will be obvious that there is one rule for the elite when it comes to Covid and another for the rest of us

Of course, I feel compassion for Hancock’s wife of 15 years Martha.

The humiliation she feels will be overwhelming and I imagine she’s currently questioning what this means for the future of her marriage and attempting to protect the couple’s three children.

But I don’t have a scintilla of sympathy for Hancock whose attempts to control our behaviour over the past year have bordered on being sadistic.

Unless Boris Johnson takes immediate action and tells Hancock to immediately resign, it will be obvious that there is one rule for the elite when it comes to Covid and another for the rest of us.

What else can explain the fact that even behind-the-scenes at Downing Street there are no social distancing rules or mask mandates followed? Or the fact the G7 leaders were allowed to party together without a care in the world when the official cameras stopped rolling?

Of course, I feel compassion for Hancock’s wife of 15 years Martha. The humiliation she feels will be overwhelming

Or that 2,500 Uefa VIPs will be exempt from the quarantine rules forced on ordinary Brits when they fly in for the Euros finals?

This is the problem with trying to control the behaviour of the public, rather than allowing us to rely on our strong sense of common sense and ability to balance sensible risks.

Hancock’s arrogance is breathtaking.

The one person we should have been able to trust to follow every nonsensical rule to a tee was him because he’s the one who insisted upon them.

Unless he goes today, trust in this government when it comes to Covid regulations will be smashed once and for all.

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