I asked my son to contribute £20 a week to the household before he goes to university and he’s livid – we’re struggling financially, but was I in the wrong?
- A British woman asked her son to contribute £80 a month to family expenses
- Said the ask left her son, who earns a monthly £900, was ‘livid’ at her request
- Read more: I have 13 children and we spend £3,000 a month on food alone
A mother has revealed that her son was left ‘livid’ when she asked him to contribute £20 a week to house expenses amid the cost of living crisis.
The unnamed British mother explained on parenting forum Mumsnet that her family is struggling financially, and that her son, who is going to university next year, earns up to £900 thanks to his part-time job.
She revealed she asked her son to give her £80 a month to make up for the child benefit she will lose once he leaves college.
However, the teen was left ‘f****** livid’ by his mother’s request, leading her to wonder whether her ask was legitimate.
She received mixed reactions, with some saying she was within her rights to ask her son to contribute if the family is feeling the squeeze, but others said her son would need the money at university more than she does.
A British mother has revealed on Mumsnet that her son was left ‘livid’ when she asked him to contribute £20 a week to house expenses (stock image)
Initially, the mother said she asked her son for £80 a week, but this was a typo, and she corrected that she has in fact asked for £80 a month, coming to £20 a week.
The mother gave more details about her son’s financial situation, explaining that if her son gave her £20 a week, it would make up for the monthly £60 she stands to lose when he foes to university.
‘He’s at College and due to go to University in September he’s saved around £2,000 for this already,’ she added.
However, her son had a strong reaction to her request, and is ‘absolutely and completely f****** livid about this situation,’ she said.
‘Things are really, really tough for us at the moment if that makes any difference,’ she said, to justify why she’d ask her son to contribute financially.
People had mixed reactions when the mother shared her story on Mumsnet.
Some believed the son should indeed contribute to the house’s outgoing to help his parents if they are struggling financially.
‘He has very few other outgoings. £80 / month will not put him in the poorhouse or damage his uni savings, but it might help him to understand that life costs money,’ one said.
‘Welcome to the real world little boy,’ another added.
‘It’s not ideal because it would be good if he could save the majority towards uni,’ one remarked, ‘but the fact is he’s an adult and he’s earning a wage and the family is struggling.
The mother explained her family is struggling financially, and she wants her son to help cover for the child benefits she will lose once he goes to university. In her original post, she said she wanted her son to pay £80 a week, but later rectify she meant £80 a month, coming to £20 a week
‘It’s not as if you’re asking him for a massive amount. I think it’s fair enough if you’re in a difficult position,’ they added.
‘If you weren’t experiencing financial hardship, I’d be inclined to let him save his all his earnings for uni (it sounds like he is a good saver and this is a quality to be encouraged).
‘I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all, given your circumstances, either way,’ they added.
‘I earned about £1000 a month when I was 17, my mum charged me £300! He’s getting a good deal here I reckon,’ one said.
‘£80 a month is perfectly reasonable. I’d be annoyed that he’s livid. Does he know how much it costs to run a home, food shops? It’s such a minimal contribution,’ another wrote.
People were divided over who was right, with some saying they wouldn’t think of charging their children for boarding
‘I don’t understand people who don’t expect working adults to contribute to their own living costs. Why on earth not? How many adults have £900 a month to spend on themselves? I don’t, and I earn a very decent salary,’ one said.
However, some added they wouldn’t think of charging their children for board, and that the son needs the money more than his mother.
‘It wouldn’t even occur to me to charge him, to be honest,’ one said.
‘Could you afford just to ask for £60.00 to cover the loss from CB rather than £80.00?’ one asked.
‘I think you are being unfair yes. He’s saving for uni, not pissing it away. The more he saves the less you’ll have to contribute,’ one pointed out.
‘He will need that money more than you do at uni,’ another said.
One person said that the mother should look at how her son is managing his money and only charge him if he is spending it on things he doesn’t need.
‘If he is genuinely saving money for living costs for uni then if you can afford it you might want to let him live rent free to help with the savings. If he’s out every night and buying designer trainers I’d definitely be charging rent,’ they wrote.
Other people said that the mother’s request was not unreasonable and that the amount she is asking for is a minimal contribution
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