DEAR DEIDRE: MY oldest friend has become so insensitive, I can’t bear talking to her any more. 

She’s had a much easier life, and I can’t deal with her lack of empathy and understanding for my problems.

We’re both 60 and have been friends since school. While she married a wealthy man, had healthy children and lives in a large house, I married a man who has become disabled and unable to work, and we have a son with autism. 

Life has long been a struggle. 

Now her kids have left home, she has a lovely time – travelling, going out for meals, having tea with friends. 

I’m still struggling with my now-adult son, and working so we can pay the bills. 

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I admit I’m jealous she’s had it so easy, but I don’t begrudge her her lovely life.

What irks me is that she doesn’t understand how hard things are for me. When I try to talk about it, she changes the subject.

If I say I can’t afford a slap-up meal, she sounds disappointed. 

She’s making me feel like a failure and I wonder if I should end the friendship. 

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Your lives have taken very different paths, but it would be a shame to end a 40-year friendship without trying to save it.

Tell your friend how you’re feeling, explain you would  love her emotional support, not her pity. Write her a letter if that’s easier. My support pack, Rows With Friends, could help. 

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