DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a one-night stand with a man I have been secretly in love with for ten years. But he is married and can never be mine.
This guy is the brother of my sister’s husband. When my sister first got together with her partner a decade ago, the four of us used to hang out and everyone thought he and I would also be an item.
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I thought he liked me so I was gutted when one day I found out he had a new girlfriend.
From then on, everything changed and I didn’t see him as much. But we remained friends and I still hoped that maybe one day he would realise what a great match we could be.
Now we are both 34, and he is married to this same woman.
They have two adorable kids together aged four and nine — and I’m their godmother.
I’m still single. I’ve had a couple of relationships but nothing has worked out. If I’m honest, I’ve always been waiting for this man.
Then last month, he called and asked to come over. He said he and his wife had been arguing for days and he needed to escape.
He vented over a bottle of red and said: “Surely married life doesn’t need to be this hard.”
I got up and hugged him — I hated the fact that he was so unhappy.
But my Dutch courage got the better of me, and I went in for a kiss.
He didn’t stop me. He pulled me onto his lap and soon we were undressing each other.
It didn’t feel like a one-night stand — it was like we were making love.
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But when we woke up the next morning, he looked miserable, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
He told me that he’d made a mistake and that it couldn’t happen again. Now I want him more than ever, but I know he’d never leave his family for me, so how do I get over him?
It’s not as easy as blocking his number — after all, he’s still my brother-in-law and I’m still godmother to his children.
DEIDRE SAYS: It will be tough because of your entwined lives, but limit contact with him as much as possible.
You have your answer now – he will never leave his family – so you must get on and start making your own life.
Busy yourself with new friendships and opportunities, and the shadow of this unfulfilled love will slowly but surely fade away.
Let go of the possibility that there is a future for you two and you will be able to move forward to happiness.
I’m sending you my support pack Mending A Broken Heart which will help you to get over this once and for all.
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