I love my boyfriend but I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian

DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE my boyfriend but I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian. 

I’m 19 and have been in a serious relationship with a boy, who’s 20, since I was 16. 


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Send an email to [email protected].

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The problem is, until the day I met him I was convinced I was gay. I’ve had crushes on other girls since I was five.

While I’m happy with my boyfriend, every time we have sex I imagine it’s a woman that’s kissing and touching me.

I don’t want to hurt him but I feel I need to explore my sexuality. I’m so confused. 

DEIDRE SAYS: Most people are neither completely gay nor completely straight. 

Often, it’s individuals we’re attracted to. My leaflet on Bisexual Issues can help.

You may find it helpful to talk this through with Switch-board LGBT+ (switchboard.lgbt, helpline 0300 330 0630).

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