DEAR DEIDRE: MY older sister and I had always lived together until a year ago when I moved in with my boyfriend.

Since I left, she hasn’t been coping well and I feel so guilty.


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I’m 47 and she’s 49. We are close but she drives me mad because she is so bossy.

After Mum and Dad died, ten and three years ago respectively, my sister and I stayed in the family home.

She took their bedroom and said I should stay in my childhood room.

She would get on to me when my boyfriends stayed over and accused me of being noisy and inconsiderate.

So when my new boyfriend, who is 47, asked me to move in with him a year ago, I didn’t hesitate.

But my sister isn’t doing well on her own.

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The house has started to look dirty and she says she can’t keep on top of it all alone.

She’s been phoning me in tears saying she’s lonely.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You are finally moving on with your life and relieved you don’t have to answer to your big sister, so don’t rush back in.

First of all, talk to your boyfriend about his thoughts.

Your relationship won’t work unless you prioritise him.

Then if he is open to living with your sister, you absolutely need to set some boundaries, so that she appreciates the days of over-ruling you purely on the basis that she is the older sibling are over

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