Inside Lady Amelia and Earl Spencer's troubled relationship

Why wasn’t Earl Spencer at Lady Amelia’s wedding? Inside Princess Diana’s niece’s troubled relationship with her father – from ‘bullying’ his first wife to ‘growing distant’ following his third marriage

  • Lady Amelia Spencer married her long-term boyfriend Greg Mallett yesterday
  • Read More:  From royal wild child to society bride! Lady Amelia’s tumultuous upbringing revealed

Lady Amelia Spencer married her long-term beau Greg Mallett in a stunning ceremony in South Africa yesterday.

But while the happy couple were surrounded by their closest friends and family at the exclusive venue La Cotte Farm, there was one person noticeably absent from the event – the bride’s father Earl Spencer.

Princess Diana’s younger brother, 58, appears to have grown apart from his four eldest children – whom he shares with first wife Victoria Lockwood – in recent years.

Following Charles and Victoria’s high profile divorce in the late 1990s, the father-of-seven moved back to the UK while his ex-wife remained in Cape Town, where the family had moved to escape the media spotlight. 

In the past, the new bride spoke fondly of her childhood memories of visiting her father and his Althorp estate in Gloucestershire.  

Princess Diana’s niece Lady Amelia Spencer, 30, married her long-term boyfriend Greg Mallett in South Africa yesterday. Pictured at her wedding welcome party over the weekend

Earl Spencer and his first wife Victoria Aitken with their daughters Kitty, Amelia and Eliza before their move to South Africa in 1995

What’s more, Earl Spencer appears to have been a present father figure in her life – buying Lady Amelia and her twin sister Lady Eliza Audi sports cars for their 18th birthdays and paying for them to live in luxury waterfront apartments in Cape Town. 

Shortly after Lady Amelia and her real estate agent husband announced their engagement in 2020, the aristocrat even spoke publicly about how his new son-in-law had asked for his blessing beforehand. 

But after Earl Spencer didn’t attend his eldest daughter’s lavish Italian wedding in 2021, rumours of a rift due to tensions over his third marriage to Countess Karen Spencer began to circulate.

Here FEMAIL delves into Charles and Amelia’s troubled relationship.

‘Bullying’ her mother Victoria 

Earl Spencer proposed to model Victoria Lockwood just six weeks after their first meeting. In 1989, they married at St Mary’s Church in Great Brington and welcomed their eldest daughter Kitty the following year.

In June 1992, the proud parents announced the arrival of twins Lady Amelia and Lady Eliza, followed by their son Louis Spencer, Viscount Althorp in March 1994.

But just five years into their marriage, cracks were already beginning to show – with reports emerging of Earl Spencer’s alleged infidelities.  

Earl Spencer and his first wife Victoria Lockwood in April 1990 – one year after their wedding. The couple got engaged just six weeks after meeting

Lady Amelia Spencer pictured with her mother Victoria Aitken and her brother Louis Spencer, Viscount Althorp in June 2017

Around this time, Victoria was also struggling with anorexia and an alcohol addiction.

In a bid to salvage their marriage and escape the spotlight, Victoria and Charles relocated to South Africa in 1995.

But just two years later, the couple announced their separation. During their divorce hearing, Victoria accused Charles of sleeping with other women while she was in rehab.

After being reminded of his pledge to stick by his wife through thick and thin, Charles told the judge that his wife was ‘thin and certainly thick’.

Elsewhere during the hearing, a letter Charles had written to a girlfriend was read out in which he described himself as ‘vicious, cruel and a bully’ towards Victoria.

Following the high-profile divorce, Charles returned to the UK – and Lady Amelia and her sister Eliza have spoken warmly of their visits to Althorp.

Earl Spencer pictured with Lady Amelia and Lady Eliza outside the Service of Thanksgiving for the life of Diana in August 2007

Pictured: the Althorp estate where Lady Amelia and her siblings spent much of their childhood while visiting their father in the UK

They gushed to Tatler: ‘It is a truly special and beautiful place. 

‘Having spent the first three years of our lives at Althorp, exploring and discovering it as children, and being part of a long heritage of Spencers that have lived there, it has always felt like another home.’ 

Womanising ways

When Amelia was nine years old, her father married his second wife Caroline Freud – a former nursery teacher and the ex-wife of Matthew Freud.

A family friend told the Daily Mail that Charles’ children were fond of their step-mother – while Victoria also spoke positively of his new relationship.

She told the Mail in 2001: ‘I’m happy that he is happy and settled because it will bring an element of stability to the children to know that their father is in a committed relationship.’ 

However, Amelia and her siblings were said to be horrified by the speed in which their father ended his five-year marriage and struck up a relationship with US TV presenter Coleen Sullivan in 2008.

When Spencer, 43, took Coleen to spend their first Christmas together at his splendid mansion in the exclusive Cape Town suburb of Constantia, the plan was for the children, then aged 12 to 15, to join them. 

Earl Spencer pictured with his second wife Caroline Freud. His elder children were said to be horrified by the speed in which he moved on from his second marriage 

But they refused to come to the house if Coleen was there, and he was forced to put her up in the five-star, £350-a-night Cellars-Hohenort hotel, a brief drive from his house.

In subsequent visits, even though Coleen never had her own home in England and had become part of the everyday scene at Althorp, the children continued to have little enthusiasm for her. Yet bit by bit, Spencer worked on them and eventually began to win them over.

Like their father, Coleen had also been brought up without a mother because when her parents divorced, her father won custody. 

Then in July 2007, Spencer took the children – then aged 17, 15 and 14 – with him and Coleen on a week-long holiday in Mallorca. By all accounts it broke the ice.

But despite his efforts to win over Amelia and his children, Charles ended the relationship not long after.

‘One morning,’ says a family friend, ‘he simply woke up and decided he no longer found her attractive. And that was it. But isn’t that so very Charles?’

Around this time, Earl Spencer still appeared to be a very present figure in his children’s lives.

Aged 18, Lady Amelia moved into a luxurious waterfront apartment with her sister Lady Eliza, which was paid for by their father, after leaving £14,000-a-year Reddam House School in 2010,

For their 18th birthdays, Earl Spencer is said to have also given his twin daughters an Audi sports car each.

Proud father moment

Before tying the knot yesterday, Lady Amelia and her boyfriend Greg Mallett had been together for 13 years – and her father had given him the seal of approval.

Princess Diana’s niece Lady Amelia Spencer pictured with her arms around her new husband Greg Mallett at their wedding welcome party in Cape Town over the weekend

Earl Spencer (pictured in December 2015) was noticeably absent from Lady Amelia’s wedding welcome party over the weekend. It comes after he missed his eldest daughter Lady Kitty’s wedding in 2021

Posting on Twitter following the announcement, he said: ‘So happy for my daughter, Amelia, engaged to her boyfriend of 11 years, Greg – it’s wonderful to hear them both so excited about their future.

‘Sending them both love, and every good wish for their life together. I love that Greg asked my blessing before proposing. Very sweet.’

Greg popped the question at the exclusive Clouds Wine & Guest Estate in Stellenbosch in July 2020. 

Speaking to Hello magazine shortly afterwards,  Greg explained how he presented Amelia with a pink box – which contained eight smaller ones.

He said: ‘In each box was a photograph of a “first time”. The final box contained a note instead of a picture, that said: “But most importantly, I know that you will remember tonight as the night that I proposed.” 

‘As Amelia was reading the note, I dropped to one knee with the ring.’

‘I burst out crying,’ Amelia added. ‘I was in shock, I said: “Yes, yes, yes!” and gave him a hug and a kiss. I’m used to Greg being very romantic but I really had no idea.’ 

‘Frictions’ over Charles’ marriage

In 2011, Charles married his third wife Canadian entrepreneur Karen Gordon – after they were set up on a blind date by one of his former colleagues. The couple welcomed their daughter Charlotte in 2010.

Earl Spencer and his third wife Karen Spencer pictured arriving at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Windsor wedding in May 2018

Countess Spencer (pictured in 2015) opened up about her difficulties with being a step-parent in an interview with The Sunday Times in 2020

In 2021, rumours of a rift between Earl Spencer and his daughters emerged after he did not attend Kitty’s wedding to millionaire businessman Michael Lewis – who is three years his senior.

Instead, Lady Kitty – who is 32 years younger than her husband – was walked down the aisle by her brother Louis Spencer, Viscount Althorp, 29, and half brother Samuel Aitken, whose father is businessman Jonathan Aitken. 

A source told MailOnline at the time: ‘Kitty and Charles were very close when she was growing up, but their relationship has cooled and been more distant since his marriage to his third wife Karen in 2011.

‘Charles recently suffered an injury and perhaps that will be the reason for him not travelling, but it is just easier for everyone that he is not there.

‘The four children are all close to their mother Victoria and get on well with their step siblings, and their Spencer aunts and have forged their own relationships with one another without needing Charles to bind them together.’

In his first post since it was announced his daughter had tied-the-knot, Charles tweeted a photograph of Althorp this morning

He shared the Tweet earlier this morning, writing it was ‘early morning March light’ at the lake on the estate 

During the interview with The Sunday Times in 2020, Countess Spencer touched the challenges of being a stepmother to Charles’ six children from his previous marriages.

Hinting at trouble she’s faced with his eldest children, Countess Spencer said: ‘I’m a fixer. I’m hugely overconfident and I probably underestimated the complexities of being a step-parent.

‘Charles gave me the best advice, which is to say nothing and do nothing about anything, ever. I don’t get to have an opinion about his children. I can have an opinion and give it to him, in our bedroom, but not to them. 

‘I just wish I could say I’d adhered to it the whole time. Step-parenting plays to Charles’s strengths and my weaknesses.’

Earlier today, Earl Spencer broke his silence following his daughter’s wedding by sharing a photo taken within the Althorp estate. 

In his first post since the wedding, Earl Spencer tweeted a photograph of Althorp this morning, writing: ‘Early morning March light, at Althorp’s Round Oval lake.’ 

Femail has approached Charles Spencer for comment.

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